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An American film actor once said, “Tomorrow is important and precious”. Some people think individuals and society should pay more attention to the future than to the present. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

An American film actor once said, “Tomorrow is important and precious”. Some people think individuals and society should pay more attention to the future than to the present. v. 1
Many people think that the present should be got more attention than the future. Whereas, others suppose that people should focus on tomorrow rather than the current time. In my opinion, both of them should be get the same priorities. On the one hand, the current time is more important because of it’s direct impacts on the future. In fact, if the existing issues are not addressed immediately, people can have to face more serious ones in the long term. For example, a country will be easy to be controlled by its’ enemy, because of internal violence, the increasing number of crimes and poverty condition which are not eliminated directly at the moment. Another reason is that ignoring the present can lead to mental problems. It is obvious that if he do not finish his present works, a staff have to face the loading of uncompleted tasks constantly. As a result, he would get stressful and metal diseases. On the other hand, one should keep the future in mind and not fritter away all things to enjoy the present. It is clear that people need to save a part of resources to prepare and perform plans in the future. Obviously, the period of earning money is limited, therefore workers have to put aside enough money that can ensure their later life when they retire. Furthermore, living forward the future can help people get away from current depressions. For example, a person usually with working stress can become more positive if he think that everything he is doing is to have a more beautiful future. In conclusion, I strongly argue that both the future and the present all play a vital role in human life. Therefore, it cannot confirm which is more important, of course, we need to focus on both.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
more attention than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, others suppose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should focus on tomorrow
rather
than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time. In my opinion, both of them should be
Did you mean "got", "gotten"?
get
the same priorities.

On the one hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it’s direct impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. In fact, if the existing issues are not addressed immediately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face more serious ones in the long term.
For example
, a country will be easy to
be controlled
by
An apostrophe is never used to form possessive case pronouns. Did you mean: "its"?
its’
enemy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of internal violence, the increasing number of crimes and poverty condition which are not eliminated
directly
at the moment. Another reason is that ignoring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
can lead to mental problems. It is obvious that if he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "does", "did".
do
not finish his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
works, a staff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face the loading of uncompleted tasks
constantly
.
As a result
, he would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stressful and metal diseases.

On the other hand
, one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
in mind and not fritter away all things to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to save a part of resources to prepare and perform plans in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Obviously
, the period of earning money
is limited
,
therefore
workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put aside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money that can ensure their later life when they retire.
Furthermore
, living forward the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
depressions.
For example
, a person
usually
with working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
can become more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
if he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "thinks", "thought".
think
that everything he is doing is to have a more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
future.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
argue that both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
all play a vital role in human life.
Therefore
, it cannot confirm which is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
of course
, we need to focus on both.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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IELTS essay An American film actor once said, “Tomorrow is important and precious”. Some people think individuals and society should pay more attention to the future than to the present. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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