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At some schools, some lessons for young students )ages5-8( include video games as a way to increasethe students‘ interest in learning. Some people believe this a very effective way for young students tolearn; others believe it is too distracting and wa v.2

At some schools, some lessons for young students )ages5-8( include video games as a way to increasethe students‘ interest in learning. Some people believe this a very effective way for young students tolearn; others believe it is too distracting and wa v. 2
Although, some people believe that video game learning is wastes time for children. As my personal recognition, I prefer to my children study and learn their course by video games. Impacts of video games on children' s learning include three parts: increasing imagination and interest and perceive real concepts. First of all, watching video games have impacts on the children' s imagination and can enhance their imagination. It is important to denote that the meaning of imagination distinguishes with illusion or delusion. Imagination use as positive aspects that the flourishing of innovation and problem solving is the main results. Moreover, profound understanding is another impact of watching video games for students. As a result, the students can be more familiar with real applications of their taught lessons. Finally, increasing students' interest is another reason for using video games to learn lessons for students at the schools. Precise understanding, reducing tiredness and doing homework independently are emerged by increasing in children' s interest. To sum up, I tend to choose to educate students with video games as a result of increasing in the imagination, learning interest and expanding knowledge of real application' s concepts.
Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game learning is wastes time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. As my personal recognition, I prefer to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
study and learn their course by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on
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children&
#039; s learning
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to include"
include
three parts:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imagination
and interest and perceive real concepts.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have impacts on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imagination
and can enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imagination
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to denote that the meaning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imagination
distinguishes with illusion or delusion.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Imagination
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects that the flourishing of innovation and problem solving is the main results.

Moreover
, profound understanding is another impact of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be more familiar with real applications of their taught lessons.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; interest is another reason for using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
to learn lessons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
at the schools. Precise understanding, reducing tiredness and doing homework
independently
are emerged
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s interest.

To sum up, I tend to choose to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imagination
, learning interest and expanding knowledge of real
Possible spelling mistake found.
application&
#039; s concepts.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay At some schools, some lessons for young students )ages5-8( include video games as a way to increasethe students‘ interest in learning. Some people believe this a very effective way for young students tolearn; others believe it is too distracting and wa v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
193 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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