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Those days, more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or o negative development? v.2

Those days, more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or o negative development? v. 2
In recent decades, it is true that more women are playing the role of breadwinner, whilst men being househusbands have been quite the norm. This following essay aimed to examine the major reasons for this phenomenon and present my opinion on whether this development is positive. Admittedly, there are a number of contributing factors responsible for why females have a tendency to leave their homes for making money purposes. Over the last many years, equal allowances, which means individuals have to adapt to social changes movements have made progress. Wives now not only have more time for themselves but also have more chances to gain more qualifications paving their career path, whereas it has become acceptable for husbands to shoulder childcare obligations. Another explanation is that the cost of living would be increasing. In particular, both men and women have to prepare for their future family life, therefore, they can split the burden with their spouse. As a result, when couples have children, they can decide who goes to work and who stays at home relied on personal preference or which partner can make ends meet more money. It is vividly the fact that society and the government would reap certain benefits from the significance of reality. For the best, the more money these females earn, the more taxes they would pay to assist the community and the state with governmental systems such as health care, education, and infrastructure, etc, which means it releases the heave burden on the authority. Not to mention that the stable financial conditions maybe create a satisfying feeling that sometimes denotes happiness for both wives and husbands. Image if there were not enough expenses to live due to the only a person makes money, they would conflict on a daily basis, and the social surroundings them as well as the state would unavoidably get in complete disarray. In short, without contributing and dividing the financial burden of women, the family and the authority would fail to thrive. In conclusion, it seems to me that the earning money of females generates the merits than its drawbacks. The government should issue policies to encourage wives working more through creating more job opportunities that suit women.
In recent decades, it is true that more
women
are playing the role of breadwinner, whilst
men
being househusbands have been quite the norm. This following essay aimed to examine the major reasons for this phenomenon and present my opinion on whether this development is
positive
.

Admittedly
, there are a number of contributing factors responsible for why females have a tendency to
leave
their homes for making
money
purposes. Over the last
many
years, equal allowances, which means individuals
have to
adapt to social
changes
movements have made progress. Wives
now
not
only
have more time for themselves
but
also
have more chances to gain more qualifications paving their career path, whereas it has become acceptable for husbands to shoulder childcare obligations. Another explanation is that the cost of living would be increasing.
In particular
, both
men
and
women
have to
prepare for their future family life,
therefore
, they can split the burden with their spouse.
As a result
, when couples have children, they can decide who goes to work and who stays at home relied on personal preference or which partner can
make
ends
meet
more money.

It is
vividly
the fact that society and the
government
would reap certain benefits from the significance of reality. For the best, the more
money
these females earn, the more taxes they would pay to assist the community and the state with governmental systems such as health care, education, and infrastructure, etc, which means it releases the heave burden on the authority. Not to mention that the stable financial conditions maybe create a satisfying feeling that
sometimes
denotes happiness for both wives and husbands. Image if there were not
enough
expenses to
live
due to the
only
a person
makes
money
, they would conflict on a daily basis, and the social surroundings them
as well
as the state would
unavoidably
get
in complete disarray. In short, without contributing and dividing the financial burden of
women
, the family and the authority would fail to thrive.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that the earning
money
of females generates the merits than its drawbacks. The
government
should issue policies to encourage wives working more through creating more job opportunities that suit
women
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Those days, more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or o negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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