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3. These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negatives development? v.1

3. These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negatives development? v. 1
In today' s society, many fathers are choosing to be househusbands, while the mothers are taking up the duties of the breadwinner in the family. I think this is a positive change and will discuss the reasons in this essay. With the equal rights movement coming into place and many more women being well established in their careers, it has now become socially acceptable for men to take up the role of a househusband. Many men are also choosing professions such as teachers, cooks, childcare providers, nurses, etc which have been traditionally held by women. Unlike olden times, men are also actively participating in household chores. Many men enjoy being " stay at home" fathers, which gives them a sense of accomplishment. In my opinion, this is surely a positive development. This leads to an equal society, where women can be more independent and career-focused. They do not have to live under pressure to sacrifice their careers, because of children, as it is the equal responsibility of both the parents to raise the kids. In many families, both the husband and wife opt to work, which can compensate for the higher cost of living. In situations where the wife earns more money or has better opportunities, many men are choosing to be " stay at home" fathers. In conclusion, fathers choosing to be househusbands is a positive development, as it not only helps society to be equal but also encourages women to be much more independent and career-oriented, and also help the children to grow up in a better environment.
In
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today&
#039; s society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fathers are choosing to be househusbands, while the mothers are taking up the duties of the breadwinner in the family. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and will discuss the reasons in this essay.

With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "rights'" or "right's"?
rights
movement coming into place and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
being well established in their careers, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become
socially
acceptable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
to take up the role of a househusband.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are
also
choosing professions such as teachers, cooks, childcare providers, nurses, etc which have been
traditionally
held by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. Unlike olden times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are
also
actively
participating in household chores.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
enjoy being
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; stay at
Possible spelling mistake found.
home&quot
; fathers, which gives them a sense of accomplishment.

In my opinion, this is
surely
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. This leads to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
society, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can be more independent and career-focused. They do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under pressure to sacrifice their careers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of children, as it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
responsibility of both the parents to raise the kids. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families, both the husband and wife opt to work, which can compensate for the higher cost of living. In situations where the wife earns more money or has better opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are choosing to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; stay at
Possible spelling mistake found.
home&quot
; fathers.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, fathers choosing to be househusbands is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, as it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
society to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to be much more independent and career-oriented, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the children to grow up in a better environment.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 3. These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negatives development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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