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As we are facing many problems which affect the whole planet, good relationships between different countries are becoming more important than ever before. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

As we are facing many problems which affect the whole planet, good relationships between different countries are becoming more important than ever before. v. 2
The concept of provincial, territorial and dividing area were made by human throughout the ages, but the mother planet is a single entity and if it faces a problem, the whole planet would be affected from that. The planet is facing more problems, both human-created and naturally, that ever and if the planet can’t stand in a single ground to effort towards the betterment of the planet we would not survive for a long. In my opinion, the countries must struggle together to make the planet a better place to live in. First of all, the unity among the countries of the earth has become more important than ever. Without the concrete relationship and the mentality to effort together, the nature would turn out to be a very difficult place to live in. While one nation has the abundance of natural resource and luxury to live a lavish life, others are suffering from very basic problems like foods, power supply and that’s inhuman to let it happen. The relationship among countries is important to maintain the peace throughout the earth. We have never been attacked by the Aliens and it was us who killed millions of people in the earth Wars. We dropped atom bombs to kill the innocent people only because they were ruled by a different government who had a different policy. If we continue to let it happen, countries would start more devastating fights against each other and that would be threatening to the whole earth. The problems in the mother planet is facing like flood, earthquake and the average temperature increase are not the problems of a single country. It is a problem for all the nations and they should effort together to face it. The countries of the earth have volatile economic structure nowadays and no country can guarantee a solid economic stability for the coming ages. The only solution to the survival of nations is to effort hands on hands. The poor nations who are deprived of many basic needs would become an enemy of the neighbouring country who has better life standard and thus more terrorist would emerge. To solve this problem, the rich countries should help increase the economic conditions of those poor countries. In conclusion, I repeat the well-known proverb ‘United we stand, Divided we fall. ’ This is true for our earth as well since we don’t know what difficulties are coming to attack us and we must effort together to face it and to survive.
The concept of provincial, territorial and dividing area
were made
by human throughout the ages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
is a single entity and if it faces a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
from that. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
is facing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, both human-created and
naturally
, that ever and if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
can’t stand in a single ground to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
towards the betterment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
we would not survive for a long. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
struggle together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the unity among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
has become more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than ever. Without the concrete relationship and the mentality to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
together, the nature would turn out to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. While one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
has the abundance of natural resource and luxury to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a lavish life, others are suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like foods, power supply and that’s inhuman to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it happen. The relationship among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to maintain the peace throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
. We have never
been attacked
by the Aliens and it was us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
killed millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
Wars. We dropped atom bombs to kill the innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
were ruled
by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
policy. If we continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it happen,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
more devastating fights against each other and that would be threatening to the whole earth.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
is facing like flood, earthquake and the average temperature increase are not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for all the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nations and
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
together to face it.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
have volatile economic structure nowadays and no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can guarantee a solid economic stability for the coming ages. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to the survival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
hands on hands.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are deprived
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
basic needs would become an enemy of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has better life standard and
thus
more terrorist would emerge. To solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
increase the economic conditions of those poor countries.

In conclusion
, I repeat the well-known proverb ‘United we stand, Divided we fall. ’ This is true for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
as well
since we don’t know what difficulties are coming to attack
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
us and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effort
together to face it and to survive.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay As we are facing many problems which affect the whole planet, good relationships between different countries are becoming more important than ever before. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
416 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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