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As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what exten v.6

As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what exten v. 6
Globalization means people are becoming more and more similar day by day. Mass Communication are capturing the eyeballs immensely towards them. These resources are making people aware of the events happening in outside world. In my opinion, globalization is not deteriorating the cultural identity of the people or generation. Due to mass communication, people are showing interest not only in their cultures but in other cultures too. For instance, if we visit the famous pilgrimage, ’Mecca Medina’, people of different religions from all over the world visit over there. Using growing transport people reach to there and become part of their delightful enchanting called Azan. In Mecca, security department checks our passport, and if doesn’t belong to their religion then security ask us to enter into an area where people of different religion stand. From there, we can take blessing by worshipping the god. Furthermore, we can consider Inter-Caste marriages. In past years, no one is allowed to do inter-caste marriage. People usually kill their children if they ask for inter-caste marriage. But today, people are getting aware of lots of mishaps which have happened earlier with the help of mass media. Mass Media has made people realize about all the deeds they have done which helped them increasing their patience, alertness, attentiveness and sensibility of understanding the difference between good and bad reality. In compendium, to make people think within the broader spectrum and avoid differentiation, globalization is mandatory. Mass media helped people to wear same clothes or we can say clothes of trendsetting fashion. And, transport only helped to reach to different places easily. Other than this, improvement in globalization, made people knowledgeable and an enhanced sense of responsibility within them.
Globalization means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more and more similar day by day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mass
Communication are capturing the eyeballs
immensely
towards them. These resources are making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
happening in outside world. In my opinion, globalization is not deteriorating the cultural identity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or generation.

Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
communication,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are showing interest not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in other cultures too.
For instance
, if we visit the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
pilgrimage, ’Mecca Medina’,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religions from all over the world visit over there. Using growing transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reach to there and become part of their delightful enchanting called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Azan
. In Mecca, security department
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
our passport, and if doesn’t belong to their religion then security ask us to enter into an area where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religion stand. From there, we can take blessing by
Possible spelling mistake. 'worshipping' is British English.
worshipping
the god.

Furthermore
, we can consider Inter-Caste marriages. In past years, no one is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to do inter-caste marriage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
usually
kill their children if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
inter-caste marriage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting aware of lots of mishaps which have happened earlier with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
media.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mass
Media has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
realize about all the deeds they have done which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them
The verb 'have' is used with an infinitive: "to increase" or "increase".
increasing
their patience, alertness, attentiveness and sensibility of understanding the difference between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
reality.

In compendium, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
within the broader spectrum and avoid differentiation, globalization is mandatory.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mass
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to wear same
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
clothes or
we can say clothes of trendsetting fashion. And, transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to reach to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places
easily
. Other than this, improvement in globalization, made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
knowledgeable and an enhanced sense of responsibility within them.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what exten v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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