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Central and local governments make a frantic attempt to promote festivals to create a lot of revenue. Some people think this money should be invested in social programmes for the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Central and local governments make a frantic attempt to promote festivals to create a lot of revenue. Some people think this money should be invested in social programmes for the poor. with this statement? v. 2
Nowadays, authority tries to find strategies to increase people' s lifestyle. While, government conducts efforts for providing festivals to gain income, a number of human beings arguing that this money should be directed to people who suffers from poverty. I partially disagree with this statement. On the one hand, conducting festivals will develop several industries, and also culture of this country. Festivals directed to demonstrate country' s culture, making them attract tourists attention. While, foreigners come to involve holiday they willing to pay money and purchase a wide range of souvenirs. This main factor increase the state of tourist industry. Secondly, conducting festivals opens several job opportunities. People can contribute in preparation of festival or produce things such as souvenirs or paintings. It might increase loyality of local people to earn money. I am confident of these motions might increase people' s life condition. However, festivals occur crowded people and pollution, also all society might not participate to it. Authority should take care about people with poverty. If poor society increase in country they might appear inner cities such as India. People divide into two parts where wealthy and poverty people. Nevertheless, the crime rate might be increase in this country which humans comment robbery in order to find money to live. In my opinion government should invest people due to restrict stratifications in this country. To sum up, although onset festivals have tendency to develop a number of industries and increase social condition, the authority should take care about poor human beings in order to bring to a stand stratification.
Nowadays, authority tries to find strategies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s lifestyle. While,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
conducts efforts for providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
to gain income, a number of human beings arguing that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be directed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "suffer"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
suffers
from poverty. I
partially
disagree with this statement.

On the one hand, conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
will develop several industries, and
also
culture of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Festivals
directed to demonstrate
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s culture, making them attract tourists attention. While, foreigners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to involve holiday
Did you mean "they're willing", "they are willing", or "they were willing"?
they willing
to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a wide range of souvenirs. This main factor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the state of tourist industry.
Secondly
, conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
opens several job opportunities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can contribute in preparation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
or produce things such as souvenirs or paintings. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
Possible spelling mistake found.
loyality
of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. I am confident of these motions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s life condition.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
occur crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and pollution,
also
all society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not participate to it. Authority should take care about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with poverty. If poor society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
appear inner cities such as India.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
divide into two parts where wealthy and poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Nevertheless
, the crime rate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which humans comment robbery in order to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. In my opinion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to restrict
Possible spelling mistake found.
stratifications
in this country.

To sum up, although onset
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
have tendency to develop a number of industries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
social condition, the authority should take care about poor human beings in order to bring to a stand stratification.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Central and local governments make a frantic attempt to promote festivals to create a lot of revenue. Some people think this money should be invested in social programmes for the poor. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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