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As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. v.5

As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. v. 5
Mass communication and transport are growing at a faster rate and provide an opportunity to become a change in international globalisation. Because of this incredible growth we have to limit the world, able to reach people in a smaller span of time and can see and roam all over the globe. Some people think this change is not good for their culture and are strongly against to it. In my opinion, change plays a vital role in someone's growth. If we look at the history, we accepted many changes in our day to day life which made our life comfortable and easy to live. We are in the 21st century and we have a solution for almost everything. For example, a patient who is suffering from a severe disease and not getting a better treatment in one place, he would have the option to get treatment in another place, maybe in some other country. We get this information via internet, TV, news. This is how people are connected and helping each other to survive and excel in their life. Yet to another part of above, a culture can not be represented by the dress someone wears, the language what someone speaks, It’s just a lifestyle which is acceptable by someone and help lead their life all with happiness. Though the human has different characteristic but they have the same emotions and feelings towards their own family member. They can act differently in some situation but the pain and sorrows are almost same in all human being because that's God given. Therefore, I do not agree that mass communication and transport gives any negative impact on culture, it is someone's own perception and totally depends on them that what changes they like to embed in their life. Hence, criticising other culture and not giving human value can bring disaster and put us in soup.
Mass communication and transport are growing at a faster rate and provide an opportunity to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in international
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
.
Because of this
incredible growth we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
limit the world, able to reach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a smaller span of time and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and roam all over the globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and are
strongly
against to it. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
plays a vital role in someone's growth.

If we look at the history, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
in our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which made our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
comfortable and easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. We are in the 21st
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
century and
we have a solution for almost everything.
For example
, a patient who is suffering from a severe disease and not getting a better treatment in one place, he would have the option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
treatment in another place, maybe in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other country. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this information via internet, TV, news. This is how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are connected
and helping each other to survive and excel in their life.

Yet
to another part of above, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
can not
be represented
by the dress someone wears, the language what someone speaks, It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a lifestyle which is acceptable by someone and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
lead their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
all with happiness. Though the human has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
characteristic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have the same emotions and feelings towards their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family member. They can act
differently
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the pain and sorrows are almost same in all human being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that's God
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

Therefore
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that mass communication and transport gives any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, it is someone's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception and
totally
depends on them that what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
they like to embed in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Hence
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'criticising' is British English.
criticising
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and not giving human value can bring disaster and put us in soup.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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