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Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think that it is a good thing, while others think that it has disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.4

Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think that it is a good thing, while others think that it has disadvantages. v. 4
Time is changing and so are advertisement developed and reformed. In these competitive market, sponsorship is a great marketing tool that companies can benefit from its vast impacts. While there are disadvantages to publicize by sponsoring sports, I personally believe that this marketing trend has tremendous effect on product promotion. On the one hand, many commentators justifiably are arguing that companies can benefit from advertising their products due to sport sponsorship which is considered as a lucrative industry these days. Owing to this, companies sales would be increase and their brand position is more likely to improve among other competitors. In addition, it is more beneficial that a company sponsor the team or athletes. Since offering them a monetary resource provides a tranquility atmosphere and the amenity for them to improves their ability and performances in order to gain popularity. Moreover, there is no doubt, if a company becomes a brand ambassador of leading sports’ team, it can gain a huge profit by investing in champions and events. On the other hand, there are those who subscribe to the view that publicity of the products by sponsorship has several drawbacks. They argue that sport events are deceptive way to marketing commercial goods. Which means that by this method of advertising and commercialization of athletics and sports’ activities, they are more likely to put into corruption trap. Furthermore, it would result in impulsive buying, as people are encouraged to purchase the products that they use them infrequent. For example, this situation would be compounded by the fact that a team is sponsored by the company that produces the goods that affects directly on children healthcare. Hence, children are encouraged simply and the products endorsed by their favorable sports’ team, the impact are inevitable. To sum up, funding sport events and teams can be advantages for both team and the company sponsoring them. In my personal opinion, although this sponsorship might have some drawbacks, the merits are more prominent. Since the company sales will be increases and the team monetary resource will be enhanced.
Time is changing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
are advertisement developed and reformed. In these competitive market,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
is a great marketing tool that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can benefit from its vast impacts. While there are disadvantages to publicize by sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, I
personally
believe that this marketing trend has tremendous effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
promotion.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
commentators
justifiably
are arguing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can benefit from advertising their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
which
is considered
as a lucrative industry these days. Owing to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
sales would be increase and their brand position is more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
among other competitors.
In addition
, it is more beneficial that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
sponsor the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
or athletes. Since offering them a monetary resource provides a tranquility atmosphere and the amenity for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their ability and performances in order to gain popularity.
Moreover
, there is no doubt, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
becomes a brand ambassador of leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
, it can gain a huge profit by investing in champions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

On the other hand
, there are those who subscribe to the view that publicity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
has several drawbacks. They argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are
Please check whether an article is missing: "a deceptive".
deceptive
way to marketing commercial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. Which means that by this method of advertising and commercialization of athletics and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports’
activities, they are more likely to put into corruption trap.
Furthermore
, it would result in impulsive buying, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them infrequent.
For example
, this situation would
be compounded
by the fact that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
is sponsored
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
that produces the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that affects
directly
on children healthcare.
Hence
, children
are encouraged
simply
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
endorsed by their favorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
, the impact are inevitable.

To sum up, funding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
can be advantages for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
sponsoring them. In my personal opinion, although this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsorship
might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, the merits are more prominent. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
sales will be increases and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
monetary resource will
be enhanced
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think that it is a good thing, while others think that it has disadvantages. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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