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As global trade increases, many goods, including those we use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distances. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks? v.2

As global trade increases, many goods, including those we use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distances. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks? v. 2
There has been a recent increase in global trade which has led to many goods including those that we consume every day to be produced in different countries and transported long distances. Although there are benefits to be derived from this trend, there are also some drawbacks. Firstly, one obvious benefit of having different countries producing goods and services will help to boost the economy of the countries. This is because product manufacturing is one of the revenue generating sectors of the economy of many nations. Therefore, the manufacture of goods in these various countries will result to a growth in its economy. Another benefit to consider is also the employment opportunity this will create. For example, people will be employed by the manufacturing companies to carry out the roles of producers, while some others will be employed to supply the products. This is certainly a plus to every nation. On the other hand, one of the setbacks of this approach the fact that many goods are now being transported long distances. This will invariably attract additional cost for the transportation. As a result, the total cost of producing the goods would increase. The increase in the production cost would have a negative effect on the amount of profit to be generated from such products. Another drawback to consider is the tendency of such products to spoil while in transit. This applies most especially to perishable goods which are not able to travel long distances because they lose their freshness over a short period. In conclusion, there is no doubt that there are benefits to the increase in global trade, however, there are also setbacks to this trend. I believe that if the transportation service is improved on, goods will be commuted faster to their destination and perishable goods will survive.
There has been a recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in global trade which has led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
including those that we consume every day to
be produced
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and transported long distances. Although there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to
be derived
from this trend, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.

Firstly
, one obvious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and services will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to boost the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
manufacturing is one of the revenue generating sectors of the economy of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations.
Therefore
, the manufacture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
in these various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will result to a growth in its economy. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
to consider is
also
the employment opportunity this will create.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
be employed
by the manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to carry out the roles of producers, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others will
be employed
to supply the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This is
certainly
a plus to every nation.

On the other hand
, one of the setbacks of this approach the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being transported
long distances. This will
invariably
attract additional cost for the transportation.
As a result
, the total cost of producing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the production cost would have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the amount of profit to
be generated
from such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Another drawback to consider is the tendency of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to spoil while in transit. This applies most
especially
to perishable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
which are not able to travel long distances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lose their freshness over a short period.

In conclusion
, there is no doubt that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in global trade,
however
, there are
also
setbacks to this trend. I believe that if the transportation service is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
on,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
will
be commuted
faster to their destination and perishable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
will survive.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay As global trade increases, many goods, including those we use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distances. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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