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As global trade increases between different countries, many daily necessities are produced in other countries. Such goods are usually transported a long distance. v.1

As global trade increases between different countries, many daily necessities are produced in other countries. Such goods are usually transported a long distance. v. 1
The global trade makes sure that the market of a product is not restricted within the boundaries of a country. With the advancement of transportation and communication systems, necessary goods are now transported to a long distance, even beyond borders. This has brought many benefits even though its negative aspects cannot be ignored. In my personal opinion, the advantages of this trend far outweigh the disadvantages it has. First and foremost, global trade ensures the availability of a variety of products to the consumers. This makes the price competitive and people have far many options to choose from. This ensures a fair market policy and availability of different brands and products. For instance, with the presence of global brands, devices like mobile phones and computers have become cheaper these days. Moreover, people around the world who produces any salable goods are no longer deprived of the scarcity of customers and fair price. The global trade and better transportation have helped a large population of the world to create and enhance their marketplace and thus we have been able to fight the poverty to a great extent. For instance, a carpet made by an Iranian or a toy produced by a small Chinese company are now available in many other countries and that has created a huge market for such deprived small business owners. The distance these products crossed before arriving at any European country is not an issue here. Secondly, not all countries can produce everything they need. Different types of crops, fruits and vegetables are grown in different geographical locations and to enjoy this variety of foods, they must be transported to a long distance. In a similar way, people of different countries have different skills and the type of goods they make have differences. The daily necessities we get from other countries have more benefits than our attempt to produce those in our homeland. On the contrary, if chemicals and preservatives are used in our foods, fruits or vegetable only to keep them fresh even after a long travel and prorogated time, that would be dangerous for our health. Some of our daily necessities are coming from countries where minimal hygiene is not maintained and eating those food items might be perilous for us. The Final drawback this system possesses is the loss many traders might face due to an unexpected delay in transportation. However, I believe that the drawbacks of transporting daily commodities between nations could be controlled with strict laws and regulation. To draw the conclusion, I quite support the idea of transporting important daily necessary goods to other countries as it has far more advantages than the possible demerits it has.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
trade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sure that the market of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is not restricted within the boundaries of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. With the advancement of transportation and communication systems, necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
transported to a long distance, even beyond borders. This has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits
even though
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. In my personal opinion, the advantages of this trend far outweigh the disadvantages it has.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
trade ensures the availability of a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to the consumers. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the price competitive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have far
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options to choose from. This ensures a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
market policy and availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
brands and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
, with the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
brands, devices like mobile phones and computers have become cheaper these days.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world who produces any salable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are no longer deprived of the scarcity of customers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
price. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
trade and better transportation have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
a large population of the world to create and enhance their marketplace and
thus
we have been able to fight the poverty to a great extent.
For instance
, a carpet made by an Iranian or a toy produced by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
available in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and that has created a huge market for such deprived
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business owners. The distance these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
crossed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving at any European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is not an issue here.

Secondly
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can produce everything they need.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Different
types of crops, fruits and vegetables
are grown
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
geographical locations and to enjoy this variety of foods, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be transported
to a long distance.
Consider replacing "In a similar way" with the adverb for "similar"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
In a similar way
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
have differences. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
necessities we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have more benefits than our attempt to produce those in our homeland.

On the contrary
, if chemicals and preservatives are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in our foods, fruits or vegetable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them fresh even after a long travel and
Possible spelling mistake found.
prorogated
time, that would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for our health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
necessities are coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where minimal hygiene is not maintained and eating those food items might be perilous for us. The Final drawback this system possesses is the loss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
traders might face due to an unexpected delay in transportation.
However
, I believe that the drawbacks of transporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
commodities between nations could
be controlled
with strict laws and regulation.

To draw the conclusion, I quite support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of transporting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as it has far more advantages than the possible demerits it has.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay As global trade increases between different countries, many daily necessities are produced in other countries. Such goods are usually transported a long distance. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
446 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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