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It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours v.1

It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours v. 1
The United Nations was established at the end of the Second World War in order to provide a peaceful way to resolve national differences. Since its formation 70 years ago, there has not been a Third World War. Furthermore, the UN has expanded its global role to include many more activities besides peacekeeping. This essay will look at some of the UN’s achievements and predict what the future might hold for the organisation. It is difficult to imagine a world without the United Nations. The organisation plays a leading role in everything from conflict resolution and peacekeeping to emergency food aid and global public health. Many people trust the UN because it is a democratic organisation that reflects the interests of all its member states and not just one particular country. In this way, it can be argued that the UN has restricted the influence of powerful countries like the USA, Russia and China, while allowing smaller nations a say in global affairs. It is also effective at collecting funds from richer member states and redistributing it as economic aid or emergency assistance to parts of the world which need it most. Yet the world is a very different place from how it looked in 1945, which has led some people to question the need for a powerful organisation like the UN. In particular, there are some proponents of free trade who argue that competition and not cooperation between nations is the fastest way to pursue economic development. However, I would argue that the more nations become interdependent, the more they will require a global forum to resolve their differences. While there are other global organisations that can play a similar role, such as the World Bank and International Criminal Court, none has the scope of the UN. For that reason, the UN is sure to exist for decades to come, and possibly for another 70 years. In conclusion, the UN remains the most viable organisation for dealing with the world’s problems, and this is unlikely to change very soon.
The United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
was established
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the Second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
War in order to provide a peaceful way to resolve national differences. Since its formation 70 years ago, there has not been a Third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
War.
Furthermore
, the UN has expanded its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
role to include
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more activities
besides
peacekeeping. This essay will look at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the UN’s achievements and predict what the future might hold for the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.

It is difficult to imagine a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
without the United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
. The
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
plays a leading role in everything from conflict resolution and peacekeeping to emergency food aid and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
public health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
trust the UN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a democratic
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
that reflects the interests of all its member states and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one particular country. In this way, it can
be argued
that the UN has restricted the influence of powerful countries like the USA, Russia and China, while allowing smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
a say in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
affairs. It is
also
effective at collecting funds from richer member states and redistributing it as economic aid or emergency assistance to parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
which need it most.

Yet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
place from how it looked in 1945, which has led
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to question the need for a powerful
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
like the UN.
In particular
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proponents of free trade who argue that competition and not cooperation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
is the fastest way to pursue economic development.
However
, I would argue that the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
become interdependent, the more they will require a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
forum to resolve their differences. While there are other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
that can play a similar role, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Bank and International Criminal Court, none has the scope of the UN. For that reason, the UN is sure to exist for decades to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
, and
possibly
for another 70 years.

In conclusion
, the UN remains the most viable
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
for dealing with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
problems, and this is unlikely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is more enjoyable to have a job where you work only three days a week for long hours than to have a job where you work five days a week for shorter hours v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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