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A high school has 2 choices to fill the summer vacation of the students to fulfill their free time. They can designate some extra classes for students or ask them to prepare a presentation after their visit from some museums. Which one do you prefer? v.1

A high school has 2 choices to fill the summer vacation of the students to fulfill their free time. They can designate some extra classes for students or ask them to prepare a presentation after their visit from some museums. Which one do you prefer? v. 1
Migrating to a different country has been on a rise in recent times. Some people argue having a blend of nationalities makes a state more fascinating and has fast developed. This essay fully agrees with the statement because having people from other nations brings in a wide variety of workforce and teaches about other local cultures. There are many talented people in the universe. Some countries have citizens with a specific skill while others have locals with other expertise. Having people from all around the world in a single nation helps it in having a wide range of versatility and can use it to the best of their interest. For example, New Zealand's progression got a huge push when it made more friendly immigration policy and people from all around started to move to the country. Therefore, more nationalities helps a state develop more rapidly. Every nation has a different culture. Having a broad range of nationalities in a single state helps the local and other people learn about different traditions and religions in the world which increases their knowledge about the land they live in. Learning about others also brings in a sense of respect in people for other customs. For instance, Americans are one of the few nationals who know a lot about the lifestyle of other people and religions and try to celebrate each one of them. Hence, more persons from other states means more festivals which make countries compelling. In conclusion, having a mixture of cultures make a country more interesting and helps in its development. I agree with the above statement because it brings with it comprehensive workforce and helps locals and others learn about different cultures and traditions.
Migrating to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has been on a rise in recent times.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a blend of nationalities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
more fascinating and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
developed. This essay
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations brings in a wide variety of workforce and teaches about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
cultures.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the universe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have citizens with a specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
while others have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
expertise.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all around the world in a single nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a wide range of versatility and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to the best of their interest.
For example
, New Zealand's progression
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a huge push when it made more friendly immigration policy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all around
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
, more nationalities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
develop more
rapidly
.

Every nation has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
culture.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
a broad range of nationalities in a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
traditions and religions in the world which increases their knowledge about the land they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. Learning about others
also
brings in a sense of respect in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
customs.
For instance
, Americans are one of the few nationals who know a lot about the lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and religions and try to celebrate each one of them.
Hence
, more persons from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
states
means more festivals which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
compelling.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a mixture of cultures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
more interesting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in its development. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it brings with it comprehensive workforce and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and traditions.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay A high school has 2 choices to fill the summer vacation of the students to fulfill their free time. They can designate some extra classes for students or ask them to prepare a presentation after their visit from some museums. Which one do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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