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As countries have developed there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. Why does this happen? How does this affect society? v.8

As countries have developed there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. Why does this happen? How does this affect society? v. 8
Ever since the genesis of industrialisation, the world has gone through many paradigm shifts.   This is also evident in the fact that average family size is getting smaller. It is argued that rising costs of living and career-oriented thinking are the primary reasons for this trend. These causes and their effects will be analysed in this essay To begin, ever since the industrial revolution, rising cost of living in cities has compelled people to shrink the size of their families due to economic reasons. This has resulted in families spending more time with their offspring, since the number of children, among which parents have to divide their time, has reduced dramatically. For example, a recent study conducted by Save the Children, a not for profit organisation, found that children of the modern era do much better than their earlier counterparts in schools and colleges. This would perhaps not be possible if parents had to spend a large amount of their time nurturing the needs of a higher number of children. Hence, the impact a small family size has on child’s academics is clear. In addition, the advent of technology has removed the need for human intervention in many jobs, as a consequence, now more people have to compete for fewer jobs. Such circumstances have made people more career oriented than they used to be, therefore, starting and expansion of families has moved to the bottom of the pecking order of many people’s priorities. The most evident effect of this on society is an ageing population in many of the western countries in the world. For instance, in Germany, the population growth rate is in negative, which could perhaps mean that the current generation of Germany will not be able to replace their dying forefathers in numbers. Therefore the devastating impact of small families is also evident. As is clear, improved academic performances of children on the one hand and the probable extinction of genes of some, on the other hand, are the two of most prominent impacts of decreasing family sizes. It is thus hoped that people will muse upon greatly before choosing their career paths and starting families.
Ever since the genesis of
industrialisation
, the world has gone through
many
paradigm shifts.
 
This is
also
evident in the fact that average
family
size
is getting smaller. It
is argued
that rising costs of living and career-oriented thinking are the primary reasons for this trend. These causes and their effects will be
analysed
in this
essay


To
begin
, ever since the industrial revolution, rising cost of living in cities has compelled
people
to shrink the
size
of their
families
due to economic reasons. This has resulted in
families
spending more time with their offspring, since the number of
children
, among which parents
have to
divide their time, has
reduced
dramatically
.
For example
, a recent study conducted by Save the
Children
, a not for profit
organisation
, found that
children
of the modern era do much better than their earlier counterparts in schools and colleges. This would perhaps not be possible if parents had to spend a large amount of their time nurturing the needs of a higher number of
children
.
Hence
, the impact a
small
family
size
has on child’s academics is
clear
.

In addition
, the advent of technology has removed the need for human intervention in
many
jobs, as a consequence,
now
more
people
have to
compete for fewer jobs. Such circumstances have made
people
more career oriented than they
used
to be,
therefore
, starting and expansion of
families
has
moved
to the bottom of the pecking order of
many
people’s
priorities. The most evident effect of this on society is an
ageing
population in
many
of the western countries in the world.
For instance
, in Germany, the population growth rate is in
negative
, which could perhaps mean that the
current
generation of Germany will not be able to replace their dying forefathers in numbers.
Therefore
the devastating impact of
small
families
is
also
evident.

As is
clear
,
improved
academic performances of
children
on the one hand and the probable extinction of genes of
some
,
on the other hand
, are the two of most prominent impacts of decreasing
family
sizes
. It is
thus
hoped that
people
will muse upon
greatly
before
choosing their career paths and starting
families
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay As countries have developed there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. Why does this happen? How does this affect society? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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