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People nowadays are not fit and active than the people from the olden days. Discuss the causes for this situation and suggest some possible solutions. v.3

People nowadays are not fit and active than the people from the olden days. Discuss the causes for this situation and suggest some possible solutions. v. 3
Ever since the genesis of industrialisation, human beings have gone through many different changes. This is evident from the fact that people are no longer as physically fit and active as they used to be.   It is argued that increasing use of technology and removal of many physically demanding jobs are the two cardinal reasons for this. To tackle these problems, educational programs and establishment of health facilities will be analysed for viability. To begin, many individuals have adopted television and internet browsing as their hobbies, which has led to them adopting sedentary lifestyles. To counter this, educational programs aimed at these people can educate them about the hazards such a lifestyle poses to the health of an individual. For instance, the government of Pakistan has run many infomercials in the past few year to increase the awareness about the importance of exercising among the geriatric population. Which in turn, resulted in lower number of elderly people reporting joint related problems in the coming years. Therefore, the effectiveness of such targeted campaigns can be clearly seen. In addition, due to industrialisation, the nature of jobs around the world has moved from being physically demanding to service oriented. Consequently, a large chunk of people does not get the necessary physical activity required to have a sound body. For this, establishment of more health facilities around the residential areas is a plausible solution. For example, a psychological study, recently conducted, found that people are generally less likely to exercise if they have to travel a long distance to get to the exercise location. As this shows, the establishment of such facilities near people’s residences is an effective method to address lifestyle-related problems. As is clear, targeted educational campaigns and setting up more health clubs are two effectual ways to make people form healthy habits and become healthy individuals. It is thus hoped that these strategies are put into practice by the masses the world over.
Ever since the genesis of
industrialisation
, human beings have gone through
many
different
changes
. This is evident from the fact that
people
are no longer as
physically
fit and active as they
used
to be.
 
It
is argued
that increasing
use
of technology and removal of
many
physically
demanding jobs are the two cardinal reasons for this. To tackle these problems, educational programs and establishment of
health
facilities will be
analysed
for viability.

To
begin
,
many
individuals have adopted television and internet browsing as their hobbies, which has led to them adopting sedentary lifestyles.
To
counter this, educational programs aimed at these
people
can educate them about the hazards such a lifestyle poses to the
health
of an individual.
For instance
, the
government
of Pakistan has run
many
infomercials in the past
few year
to increase the awareness about the importance of exercising among the geriatric population. Which in turn, resulted in lower number of elderly
people
reporting joint related problems in the coming years.
Therefore
, the effectiveness of such targeted campaigns can be
clearly
seen
.

In addition
, due to
industrialisation
, the nature of jobs around the world has
moved
from being
physically
demanding to service oriented.
Consequently
, a large chunk of
people
does not
get
the necessary physical activity required to have a sound body. For this, establishment of more
health
facilities around the residential areas is a plausible solution.
For example
, a psychological study, recently conducted, found that
people
are
generally
less likely to exercise if they
have to
travel a long distance to
get
to the exercise location. As this
shows
, the establishment of such facilities near
people’s
residences is an effective method to address lifestyle-related problems.

As is
clear
, targeted educational campaigns and setting up more
health
clubs are two effectual ways to
make
people
form healthy habits and become healthy individuals. It is
thus
hoped that these strategies
are put
into practice by the masses the world over.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay People nowadays are not fit and active than the people from the olden days. Discuss the causes for this situation and suggest some possible solutions. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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