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As countries have developed there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. Why does this happen? How does this affect society? v.4

As countries have developed there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. Why does this happen? How does this affect society? v. 4
Many countries around the world are becoming richer as they develop and at the same time these countries are seeing a reduction in the size of the family unit. This essay will discuss the reasons for this phenomenon and examine some of the possible effects it will have on society. One of the principal reasons for smaller family units is birth control. As a country develops and becomes richer, birth control becomes more readily available. This may be due to a rise in the number of medical clinics or the distribution of free contraception. The result of this is that people can choose family size. Another important factor is the rise in the levels of education that occur as a country develops, which means that women are more educated and more likely to be working. Consequently, many will want to delay having children and so will likely have fewer in the long-term. This can impact on society in a number of ways. One positive effect is that the population will fall, which will likely result in less poverty as there will be less competition for scarce resources. The parents can also provide a better education to their children as it will cost less, which will benefit society as a whole. A possible negative impact is that there will be fewer younger people in the workforce in the future, thus making the sustainability of future economic growth less certain. In conclusion, family size has fallen due to birth control and education, and this can have positive and negative impacts on society. Regardless of any impacts, this trend is likely to continue as countries around the world develop and become wealthier.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world are becoming richer as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
and at the same time these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are seeing a reduction in the size of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
unit. This essay will discuss the reasons for this phenomenon and examine
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
possible effects it will have on society.

One of the principal reasons for smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
units is birth control. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develops
and becomes richer, birth control becomes more
readily
available. This may be due to a rise in the number of medical clinics or the distribution of free contraception. The result of this is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
size. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor is the rise in the levels of education that occur as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develops
, which means that women are more educated and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
to be working.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
will want to delay having children and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
have fewer in the long-term.

This can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on society in a number of ways. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect is that the population will fall, which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
poverty as there will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
competition for scarce resources. The parents can
also
provide a better education to their children as it will cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
, which will benefit society as a whole. A possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
is that there will be fewer younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the workforce in the future,
thus
making the sustainability of future economic growth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
certain.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
size has fallen due to birth control and education, and this can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on society. Regardless of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
, this trend is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
likely
to continue as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
and become wealthier.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay As countries have developed there has been a trend towards smaller family sizes. Why does this happen? How does this affect society? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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