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Modern technology has a great impact on our environment. Some say that people should adopt a simple lifestyle to solve this problem, while others argue that the technology itself should provide a solution. v.6

Modern technology has a great impact on our environment. Some say that people should adopt a simple lifestyle to solve this problem, while others argue that the technology itself should provide a solution. v. 6
This contemporary milieu has been influenced by new innovation in technology, which has affected the natural environment. There are arguments to suggest that people should live in a traditional form of lifestyle to rectify ecological problems. However, it can be argued that the technology can offer solutions to tackle the environmental destruction. Primarily, it is indubitable that the natural habitat could be preserved if most people adapted to manual labour rather than machines. It might be the case that some farmers use mechanical ploughs, which emits a considerable amount of fumes, to weed their farm. There is a view that these machines, which hasten the productivity, have helped people from their daily routine task. As a result, the demand of machines will also lead to the production of carbon dioxide, which will contribute to global warming.   Furthermore, there are reasons to suggest that some of the machines have been used to exploit environmental resources. Taking into consideration the use of the chain saw that accelerates the logging of live trees. It is also possible that some businessmen have established factories, and most of the equipment is reliant on fossil fuel. In the previous era, majority of primitive people have survived even without the use of technology, thus in this modern world, some would consider that people can still thrive by reducing the usage of machines. In contrast, it can never be denied that the advent of technology has contributed to the development of a country and even the preservation of mother earth can be granted by modern studies. To illustrate, there is a feasible study6 that asserts that the ultraviolet rays coming from the sun can be prevented through the use of mirrors which will b flown in the space. As a result, the sun rays will be deflected by the million of mirrors in the space, and that will be viable because of the continuous development in technology. In addition, the possibility to recycle the old goods and rubbish has become realistic because of the application of technology. For instance, the disintegration of matter and moulding to a new form can be ascribed to advances in machinery and computers. In my opinion, time is inevitably progressing, and people need to adapt to the modern culture. Moreover, there has been as strict legislation that precludes people from abusing the environmental resource, thus they might seldom use technology to harm the forest. To conclude, some people believe that they should not become more reliant on machines in order to maintain the wealth of the environment, yet it is compelling that technology has been proven to produce amenable aid to resolve the environmental hazards and pollution.
This contemporary milieu has
been influenced
by new innovation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the natural environment. There are arguments to suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a traditional form of lifestyle to rectify ecological problems.
However
, it can
be argued
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can offer solutions to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
destruction.

Primarily
, it is indubitable that the natural habitat could
be preserved
if most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adapted to manual
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. It might be the case that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
farmers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mechanical
Possible spelling mistake. 'ploughs' is British English.
ploughs
, which emits a considerable amount of fumes, to weed their farm. There is a view that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
, which hasten the productivity, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from their daily routine task.
As a result
, the demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
will
also
lead to the production of carbon dioxide, which will contribute to global warming.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Furthermore
, there are reasons to suggest that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to exploit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
resources. Taking into consideration the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the chain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that accelerates the logging of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
trees. It is
also
possible that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
businessmen have established factories, and most of the equipment is reliant on fossil fuel. In the previous era,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
primitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have survived even without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
thus
in this modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
still
thrive by reducing the usage of machines.

In contrast
, it can never
be denied
that the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has contributed to the development of a country and even the preservation of mother earth can
be granted
by modern studies. To illustrate, there is a feasible study6 that asserts that the ultraviolet rays coming from the sun can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mirrors which will b flown in the space.
As a result
, the sun rays will
be deflected
by the million of mirrors in the space, and that will be viable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the continuous development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
In addition
, the possibility to recycle the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and rubbish has become realistic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the application of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
For instance
, the disintegration of matter and
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
to a new form can
be ascribed
to advances in machinery and computers.

In my opinion, time is
inevitably
progressing, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to adapt to the modern culture.
Moreover
, there has been as strict legislation that precludes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from abusing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
resource,
thus
they might seldom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to harm the forest.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that they should not become more reliant on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
in order to maintain the wealth of the environment,
yet
it is compelling that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
been proven
to produce amenable aid to resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
hazards and pollution.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern technology has a great impact on our environment. Some say that people should adopt a simple lifestyle to solve this problem, while others argue that the technology itself should provide a solution. v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
445 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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