Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries. While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries. While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. v. 1
In recent years, there has been an increase in opportunities for students to continue their education in other countries. I believe that this provides more benefits than drawbacks for the student. Firstly, by going overseas to study, a student is exposed to the different facilities available to them in the country. For example, students who attend schools in Malaysia, usually rely on paperbacks and note taking. However, majority of schools in Australia have shifted towards incorporating technology, therefore having their books online. This allows students who wish to travel abroad to study to experience new opportunities. Secondly, by going to another country, they will learn numerous skills as a leaner. To illustrate, going to a new countries mean newfound independence and confidence which is required in adulthood. When a student goes abroad, they generally go by themselves, hence the time away from their parents allows them to mature. Furthermore, by living in a new country they learn how to adapt to other places. On the other hand, many believe that sending children abroad can instead lead to negative effects, such as bad behaviour. This can happen when there is no proper guardian or parent to take care of them. However, by having a guardian watch over them then this problem can be avoided. In conclusion, it is seen that from the discussion above, that sending children overseas to study has more benefits then drawbacks. It is hoped that educational institutes encourage provide the proper information and help students who wish to pursue their education in other places.
In recent years, there has been an increase in opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to continue their education in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I believe that this provides more benefits than drawbacks for the student.

Firstly
, by going overseas to study, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is exposed
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
facilities available to them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who attend schools in Malaysia,
usually
rely on paperbacks and note taking.
However
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
schools in Australia have shifted towards incorporating technology,
therefore
having their books online. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who wish to travel abroad to study to experience new opportunities.

Secondly
, by going to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they will learn numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as a leaner. To illustrate, going to a new
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "country"?
countries
mean newfound independence and confidence which
is required
in adulthood. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
goes abroad, they
generally
go by themselves,
hence
the time away from their parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to mature.
Furthermore
, by living in a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they learn how to adapt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that sending children abroad can
instead
lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. This can happen when there is no proper guardian or parent to take care of them.
However
, by having a guardian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
over them then this problem can
be avoided
.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that from the discussion above, that sending children overseas to study has more benefits
Did you mean "than"?
then
drawbacks. It
is hoped
that educational institutes encourage provide the proper information and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who wish to pursue their education in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries. While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
257 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts