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As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in smallfamily units. In your opinion, what is this cause and what are the effects onsociety? v.1

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in smallfamily units. In your opinion, what is this cause and what are the effects onsociety? v. 1
Highly competitive world, companies focus on high profits. Besides earning money, organisations require to accept social obligations as one of their duties. As a responsible citizen, I agree with the statement. In contrast, some believe the sole purpose of a business is purely making profits, because in order to survive in the corporate world. On the other hand the private sector needs the society's recondition and acceptance to last in the long run. Therefore, they must reward and show their devotion to the community. It is beneficial for both companies and the public. There are many ways of engaging with people, such as Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) programs. Many corporations prefer this method to serve the people, and on the other hand, it will build a healthy relationship with them. For instance, in my country, there are some regions without sufficient clean water. Many recognised companies launch pure water project in those places. In return, they receive significant recognition and trust between them. Another aspect is that the development and success of corporations highly determined by their skilled employees. Thus, it is essential to arm with a skilful workforce. So to accomplish that it is necessary to uplift public education by assisting in enhancing education and develop community schools in rural areas. Furthermore, supporting the government to establish advanced industrial and vocational training centres. In this case, according to a survey, providing financial and technical assistance to broadening the underprivileged students' knowledge Business organisations should organise these kinds of socially beneficial arrangements in their business strategy. By way of conclusion, private organisations should concentrate on taking part in social accountability other than financial interests.
Highly
competitive world,
companies
focus on high profits.
Besides
earning money,
organisations
require
to accept
social obligations as one of their duties. As a responsible citizen, I
agree
with the statement.

In contrast
,
some
believe the sole purpose of a business is
purely
making profits,
because
in order to survive in the corporate world.
On the other hand
the private sector needs the society's recondition and acceptance to last in the long run.
Therefore
, they
must
reward and
show
their devotion to the community. It is beneficial for both
companies
and the public. There are
many
ways of engaging with
people
, such as Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) programs.
Many
corporations prefer this method to serve the
people
, and
on the other hand
, it will build a healthy relationship with them.
For instance
, in my country, there are
some
regions without sufficient clean water.
Many
recognised
companies
launch pure water project in those places. In return, they receive significant recognition and trust between them.

Another aspect is that the development and success of corporations
highly
determined by their skilled employees.
Thus
, it is essential to arm with a
skilful
workforce.
So
to accomplish that it is necessary to uplift public education by assisting in enhancing education and develop community schools in rural areas.
Furthermore
, supporting the
government
to establish advanced industrial and vocational training
centres
.
In this case
, according to a survey, providing financial and technical assistance to broadening the underprivileged students' knowledge Business
organisations
should
organise
these kinds of
socially
beneficial arrangements in their business strategy.

By way of conclusion, private
organisations
should concentrate on taking part in social accountability other than financial interests.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in smallfamily units. In your opinion, what is this cause and what are the effects onsociety? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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