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In recent years, more and more people tend to live individually. What are the causes of this trend? Does this have a positive or negative effect on society? v.1

In recent years, more and more people tend to live individually. What are the causes of this trend? Does this have a positive or negative effect on society? v. 1
Many people now choose to live individually, which I believe has only negative impacts on the society. This essay will present some causes of this phenomenon before analysing the negative influences. First, as some traditional values of family and marriage have been lost, many do not see the point of sharing lives. For example, family gatherings can be a burden rather than a cherished present that life brings about. Second, many blame the hectic modern life. The truth is that people today are just too busy to settle down with a family and all sorts of responsibilities. Last but not least, thanks to the sharing frenzy on social networking sites, many successful and seemingly happy individuals became much-trumpeted role models of this lifestyle. As stories of their wonderful life go viral, many simply consider living a single life a very fashionable choice. I do not believe this trend is doing any good for the society as it pulls people away from one another, weakening them psychologically long before they are aware of it. Now that the concept of having a family fades away, people are more vulnerable than ever as they have no home to return in times of sickness or hardships. If a person decides to become a single parent, it is even worse as their child grows up without care and attention from both parents. Finally, from a demographic perspective, the trend takes a toll on the development of a country’s population as it slows down the process of producing new generations to replace the dying or ageing generations. Although individuals have every right to decide how they want to live their lives, I still believe in family as a place to form the wholesomeness of a human being.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
individually
, which I believe has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the society. This essay will present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes of this phenomenon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences.

First
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and marriage have
been lost
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the point of sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
gatherings can be a burden
rather
than a cherished present that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
brings about. Second,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
blame the hectic modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The truth is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
too busy to settle down with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and all sorts of responsibilities. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, thanks to the sharing frenzy on social networking sites,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
successful and
seemingly
happy individuals became much-trumpeted role models of this lifestyle. As stories of their wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
go viral,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
simply
consider living a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fashionable choice.

I do not believe this trend is doing any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the society as it pulls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
away from one another, weakening them
psychologically
long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they are aware of it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
that the concept of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
fades away,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more vulnerable than ever as they have no home to return in times of sickness or hardships. If a person decides to become a single parent, it is even worse
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
their child grows up without care and attention from both parents.
Finally
, from a demographic perspective, the trend takes a toll on the development of a country’s population as it slows down the process of producing new generations to replace the dying or
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
generations.

Although individuals have every right to decide how they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, I
still
believe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as a place to form the wholesomeness of a human being.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years, more and more people tend to live individually. What are the causes of this trend? Does this have a positive or negative effect on society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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