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As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment? v.1

As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment? v. 1
It is true that in many nations, the quality of life has been considerably improved, therefore, there is a huge number of people buying and using them on a regular basis. While I accept that cars bring several benefits to users, I strongly believe that they influenced adversely and negatively to the environment. On the one hand, it is undeniable that individuals' life has become easier since the introduction of automobiles. To be more specific, nowadays, cars have been the most popular means of transport among citizens in a country, as they are comfortable and less time-consuming in moving to different places. As a result, people can easily reach their particular destination in a short time by means of its fast mobility. Moreover, inside this kind of vehicle, there are many modern facilities which can satisfy users and significantly contribute to a journey. In fact, its seats are big and large enough to contain 5-6 people. It also has radio, which is able to allow drivers to get access to news or music while moving on the street, and air-conditioning, to offer fresh air, regardless of sunny weather, especially in the summer. However, despite the aforementioned advantages, I would argue that the potential effects of such transport on the environment is worth taking notice of. Firstly, an increase in the purchase and usage of cars means more traffic congestion in the long run. As there is a large amount of automobiles moving on the road, the quantity of exhaust fumes and harmful gases, such as carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide and benzene, is like; y to damage living organisms and the environment. Secondly, this tendency also leads to the ever-increasing exploitation of natural fuel for petrol and oil, thus causing environmental degradation on account of burning excessive amounts of fossil fuels, gasoline and diesel, for instance. Finally, car pollutants, like nitrous oxide, can deplete the quality of natural resources such as water, soil or air. In conclusion, it appears to me that the negative influences of automobiles on the environment and living creatures have outweigh its advantages in the long term.
It is true that in
many
nations, the quality of life has been
considerably
improved
,
therefore
, there is a huge number of
people
buying and using them on a regular basis. While I accept that
cars
bring several benefits to users, I
strongly
believe that they influenced
adversely
and
negatively
to the environment.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that individuals' life has become easier since the introduction of automobiles. To be more specific, nowadays,
cars
have been the most popular means of transport among citizens in a country, as they are comfortable and less time-consuming in moving to
different
places.
As a result
,
people
can
easily
reach their particular destination in a short time by means of its
fast
mobility.
Moreover
, inside this kind of vehicle, there are
many
modern facilities which can satisfy users and
significantly
contribute to a journey. In fact, its seats are
big
and large
enough
to contain 5-6
people
. It
also
has radio, which is able to
allow
drivers to
get
access to news or music while moving on the street, and air-conditioning, to offer fresh air, regardless of sunny weather,
especially
in the summer.

However
, despite the aforementioned advantages, I would argue that the potential effects of such transport on the environment is worth taking notice of.
Firstly
, an increase in the
purchase
and usage of
cars
means more traffic congestion in the long run. As there is a large amount of automobiles moving on the road, the quantity of exhaust fumes and harmful gases, such as carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide and benzene, is like; y to damage living organisms and the environment.
Secondly
, this tendency
also
leads to the ever-increasing exploitation of natural fuel for petrol and oil,
thus
causing environmental degradation on account of burning excessive amounts of fossil fuels, gasoline and diesel,
for instance
.
Finally
,
car
pollutants, like nitrous oxide, can deplete the quality of natural resources such as water, soil or air.

In conclusion
, it appears to me that the
negative
influences of automobiles on the environment and living creatures have
outweigh
its advantages in the long term.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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