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As countries develop more and more people buy and use their own cars Do the advantages for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment v.2

As countries develop more and more people buy and use their own cars Do the advantages for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment v. 2
The past fifty years have seen a significant increase in the popularity of private cars. While it is argued by many that using own cars may be beneficial in terms of their time-saving and convenience, yet there still remains some arguments that using own cars results in severe pollution for the environment. Overall, it is my personal view that the disadvantages of using private cars are far outweigh their benefit. When it comes to the advantages, many people choose to use their own cars for the sake of more freedom and fast speed. While It is admitted that public transport provides us with much more economical means of transport, it limits our journey by stations and bus stop. Using own cars, however, give us convenience irrespective of the length of the journey. Take the case of traveling to work by private car as a salient example. You may not need to walk for a long way to your office in case it is far from the bus stop or the station. On the downside, however, excessive use of private cars may be responsible for serious pollution. Moreover, no matter how comfortable private cars are, they lead to major traffic jams and the shortage of fuel energy. Smoke leaking form vehicles causes extremely bad air that is responsible lots of respitory ailments in human. On top of that, excessive using fuel energy for organising cars may contribute to exploiting coals and fuel to excess, which is incredibly detrimental to environment particularly alternation in climate and weather. By ways of conclusion, people buying and using their own cars is either beneficial or detrimental to individuals and society at large. Although it can not be denied that private cars are extremely convenient, the adverse impact they may have on environment is highly severe. Therefore, it is obvious that using private cars may be beneficial in the short term, the disadvantages it may cause in the long run far outweigh its advantages. In years to come, I strongly believe that compains regarding encouragement using public transport rather than own cars should be adopted and enjoyed by the majority of population.
The past fifty years have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a significant increase in the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. While it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
may be beneficial in terms of their time-saving and convenience,
yet
there
still
remains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments that using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
results in severe pollution for the environment.
Overall
, it is my personal view that the disadvantages of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are far outweigh their benefit.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
for the sake of more freedom and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
speed. While It
is admitted
that public transport provides us with much more economical means of transport, it limits our journey by stations and bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
. Using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
however
, give us convenience irrespective of the length of the journey. Take the case of traveling to work by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
as a salient example. You may not need to walk for a long way to your office in case it is far from the bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
or the station.

On the downside,
however
, excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
may be responsible for serious pollution.
Moreover
, no matter how comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are, they lead to major traffic jams and the shortage of fuel energy. Smoke leaking form vehicles causes
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
air
that is
responsible lots of
Possible spelling mistake found.
respitory
ailments in human.
On top of that
, excessive using fuel energy for
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
may contribute to exploiting coals and fuel to excess, which is
incredibly
detrimental to environment
particularly
alternation in climate and weather.

By ways of conclusion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
buying and using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is either beneficial or detrimental to individuals and society at large. Although it can not
be denied
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are
extremely
convenient, the adverse impact they may have on environment is
highly
severe.
Therefore
, it is obvious that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
may be beneficial in the short term, the disadvantages it may cause in the long run far outweigh its advantages. In years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
, I
strongly
believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
compains
regarding encouragement using public transport
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
should
be adopted
and enjoyed by the majority of population.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay As countries develop more and more people buy and use their own cars Do the advantages for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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