Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do the advantages for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment? v.2

As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do the advantages for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment? v. 2
In economically developed countries, car sales are increasing day by day. Most people want to ride their individual cars. There are some advantages for the human while harmful effect on the environment is important than personal comfort. It is clear that in the modern life, personal car is often in a significant needing list. Public transports such as subways or buses are sometimes unavailable, crowded and take more time in a vacation. In addition, nobody wants to travel with her baby, kids in a bus for hygiene issues among the community. Due to the fact that, car sales peak among the families have a newborn. In doubtless, buying a car is necessary when we think about comfortable transport especially family with children. However, increasing numbers of the car in these countries would be a detrimental effect on our children in the future. If we think about our future not only children, but also the Earth, we prefer using public transport mostly. On the other hand, environmental issues are getting a rise all around the world, especially developed countries. One of the reasons for this, the cars. They release emission gases and other dangerous gases. All these industrial pollutants are delivered to the atmosphere. The people who exposed to it, can caught breathing or other health problems. For instance, breathing diseases are common in the developed economies. The environmental harmful effect of the cars can not ignore. In conclusion, being comfortable with using the car is not as much as significant being healthy. Every government should be conscious decreasing sales of the cars and they encourage the society to prefer using public transport.
In
economically
developed countries
,
car
sales are increasing day by day. Most
people
want to ride their individual
cars
. There are
some
advantages for the human while harmful effect on the environment is
important
than personal comfort.

It is
clear
that in the modern life, personal
car
is
often
in a significant needing list. Public
transports
such as subways or buses are
sometimes
unavailable, crowded and take more time in a vacation.
In addition
, nobody wants to travel with her baby, kids in a bus for hygiene issues among the community. Due to the fact that,
car
sales peak among the families have a newborn. In doubtless, buying a
car
is necessary when we
think
about comfortable
transport
especially
family with children.
However
, increasing numbers of the
car
in these countries would be a detrimental effect on our children in the future. If we
think
about our future not
only
children,
but
also
the Earth, we prefer using public
transport
mostly
.

On the other hand
, environmental issues are getting a rise all around the world,
especially
developed countries
. One of the reasons for this, the
cars
. They release emission gases and other
dangerous
gases. All these industrial pollutants
are delivered
to the atmosphere. The
people
who exposed to it, can caught breathing or other health problems.
For instance
, breathing diseases are common in the developed economies. The environmental harmful effect of the
cars
can not
ignore
.

In conclusion
, being
comfortable with using
the
car
is not as much as significant being healthy. Every
government
should be conscious decreasing sales of the
cars and
they encourage the society to prefer using public
transport
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do the advantages for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts