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As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. v.4

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. v. 4
Due to advancement in the field of studies, there will be high chances of computers to replace teachers in the schools which results in decreasing importance of teachers. However, in my opinion, machines can't replace humans in teaching field. Some people believe the role of teachers are fading away because computers help students studying quicker than in classrooms. For instance, there are students having different intellectual capacities in a same classroom so some students might feel bored to the slow advancement of studies because of the others incapability to understand. So with the help of computers, they can study with their own pace without feeling tedious. On the other hand, the teacher can easily acknowledge the mistakes and problems in certain topic compared to computers. In addition to that, they can easily solve the problems by giving different examples or repeating the same explanations. Hence students have a better chance of avoiding failures in future. Moreover, the presence of humans in classrooms is inherent for students because human contact influence in the positive ways. Firstly, they realise that they are not in contact with a machine, but with the human who deserve respect and attention. They also learn the importance of studying in groups which will help them in improving social skills. They also learn to maintain discipline which is very vital for pupils. In conclusion, the role of tutors in the learning process is important and will remain active in the future because no machine can replace human interaction and its consequences.
Due to advancement in the field of studies, there will be high chances of computers to replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in the schools which results in decreasing importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
However
, in my opinion, machines can't replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in teaching field.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
fading away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
computers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studying quicker than in classrooms.
For instance
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
intellectual capacities in a same classroom
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might feel bored to the slow advancement of studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "others'" or "other's"?
others
incapability to understand.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of computers, they can study with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace without feeling tedious.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
can
easily
acknowledge the mistakes and problems in certain topic compared to computers.
In addition
to that, they can
easily
solve the problems by giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
examples or repeating the same explanations.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a better chance of avoiding failures
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

Moreover
, the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in classrooms is inherent for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
contact influence in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ways.
Firstly
, they
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that they are not in contact with a machine,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
who deserve respect and attention. They
also
learn the importance of studying in groups which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in improving social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. They
also
learn to maintain discipline which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital for pupils.

In conclusion
, the role of tutors in the learning process is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and will remain active in the future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no machine can replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
interaction and its consequences.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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