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As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. v.1

Thesedays, number of crime commit by the young generation is increasing. A section of society belived that it can be minimise by educating parents good parenting skills To begin with, parents play vital role in upbringing of their child. To make it simple, children are attached to their parents and hence parents should know how to raise their child. To quote an instance, unless parents are lazy and unaware, rate of crime committed by youths would increase. Hence, I do believe that government should introduce institutions and organisations to educate parents about parenting skills. On the other side, schools can arrange parents teacher meeting if they noticed any violence in school. To elaborate, school authorities can inform parents if they noticed any violation in school. To examplify, school authorities informed my nephew's parents because he hit the small bird in the school by noticing such a violent behaviour in school informed his parents. Thus, introducing parents teacher meeting and informing parents might help in reducing crime rate which is done by youth. By summing up my opinion, establishing organisations and institutions would be advantageous to minimise the rate of crime. However, school and colleges plays a Vital role
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thesedays
, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
commit by the young generation is increasing. A section of society
Possible spelling mistake found.
belived
that it can be
Consider using the past participle "minimised"?
minimise
by educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills


To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play vital role in upbringing of their child. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it simple, children
are attached
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should know how to raise their child. To quote an instance, unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are lazy and unaware, rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
committed by youths would increase.
Hence
, I do believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should introduce institutions and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can arrange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
teacher meeting if they noticed any violence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. To elaborate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
authorities can inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
if they noticed any violation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
authorities informed my nephew's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he hit the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
bird in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
by noticing such a violent
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
informed his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Thus
, introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
teacher meeting and informing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate which
is done
by youth.

By summing up my opinion, establishing
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
and institutions would be advantageous to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and colleges plays a Vital role
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He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Best way to reduce the number of crime among young generation is to teach parents good parenting skills at what extent do you agree disagree give your personal exampl

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
197 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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