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Art is considered an important part of the society as well as the expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects? v.1

Art is considered an important part of the society as well as the expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects? v. 1
It is fact that art is an indispensable part of any nation to signifying their culture and identification. In my opinion, children should have to learn an artwork in order to develop their mental skills and career prospective. However, subjects like Science and philosophy are mandatory in school curricula; Art subject also has its own importance in student’s life so, it should be considered in academic programs. To commence with, there are myriad of reasons for teaching laurels to children. Firstly, it develops psychological skills of pupils by learning and making an extraordinary craft because working on art needs a lot of creativity and imagination. Hence, it will also help to produce a problem solving skills in the early stage of life. They can easily find a solution when they are in complicated situations without any assistance. Secondly, Fine art will assist children in making a career in the future. Nowadays, many people are ignoring art and their importance is becoming extinct, So It may be chances that they will make an art in another level and bring back trends again. Moreover, they would develop job opportunity and revenues of artists. Therefore, art is necessary to learn for offspring. Consequently, it should give an importance to an art subject as other subjects in the school curriculum. This is because students are getting by studying too much on science or social subjects, so conducting a period of crafts makes them feel happy and free from boredom. Besides, it helps them to increase their overall grades by attaining good marks in subject like art because it also considered as entire performance. Furthermore, many employers are interested to hire a candidate who experts in all kinds of subjects not merely on particular subjects. Thus, it is necessary to teach art subject to students with other study related subjects. In conclusion, Laurel is crucial for society to demonstrate their culture and own identity. Parents and academic tutor have to take responsibility to teach art to their children and it must be considered as school curriculum activity as other subjects are.
It is fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an indispensable part of any nation to signifying their culture and identification. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn an artwork in order to develop their mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and career prospective.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like Science and philosophy are mandatory in school curricula;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
also
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance in student’s life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it should
be considered
in academic programs.

To commence with, there are myriad of reasons for teaching laurels to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, it develops psychological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of pupils by learning and making an extraordinary craft
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
working on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
creativity and imagination.
Hence
, it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to produce a problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in the early stage of life. They can
easily
find a solution when they are in complicated situations without any assistance.
Secondly
, Fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
will assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in making a career in the future. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are ignoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and their importance is becoming extinct,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
It may be chances that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in another level and bring back trends again.
Moreover
, they would develop job opportunity and revenues of artists.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is necessary to learn for offspring.

Consequently
, it should give an importance to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
as other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in the school curriculum. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
students are getting by studying too much on science or social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
conducting a period of crafts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel happy and free from boredom.
Besides
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to increase their
overall
grades by attaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
also
considered as entire performance.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers
are interested
to hire a candidate who experts in all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
not
merely
on particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Thus
, it is necessary to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
to students with other study related subjects.

In conclusion
, Laurel is crucial for society to demonstrate their culture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
identity. Parents and academic tutor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take responsibility to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
as school curriculum activity as other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Art is considered an important part of the society as well as the expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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