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Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of the society. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school? v.1

Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of the society. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school? v. 1
In today's era, most of the people showing interest towards painting, sculptures, dance as a basic thing in their life and feel as a stress release from their day-to-day hectic busy schedule. In my opinion, these play a significant role both in elderly people and youngsters who have good taste and passion in these arts and dance. This essay will elucidate the importance and reasons in the following paragraphs. Firstly, In this present world, due to the increase in modern inventions in almost every field like automobiles, electronics, household appliances, the work burden has reduced to a little extent. Even though, in addition to that, some people are showing concern in arts and sculptures to get stress free from their busy office works. For example, In India, the majority of the people show interest in fine arts like Bharatanatyam, Kathakali, etc. . The enjoyment and feel stress reliever. Secondly, Most of the schools introducing at least two classes of this cultural activity per week. So that children will feel relief from the studies and will show interest and enthusiasm towards these cultural activities like singing and dancing etc. . For example, In most of the developing countries, researchers have revealed that if we inculcate the arts and cultural activities as a part in their daily timetable, it will improve their concentration towards studies. In conclusion, I strongly agree that art and music even today play an indispensable role in most of the individuals. And it is necessary that today's generation should also show enthusiasm and learn. It is our responsibility as parents and teachers to explain the importance and allow them to learn these fine arts if they are really interested.
In
today
's era, most of the
people
showing interest towards painting, sculptures, dance as a basic thing in their life and feel as a
stress
release from their day-to-day hectic busy schedule. In my opinion, these play a significant role both in elderly
people
and youngsters who have
good
taste and passion in these
arts
and dance. This essay will elucidate the importance and reasons in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
, In this present world, due to the increase in modern inventions in almost every field like automobiles, electronics, household appliances, the work burden has
reduced
to a
little
extent.
Even though
,
in addition
to that,
some
people
are showing concern in
arts
and sculptures to
get
stress
free from their busy office works.
For example
, In India, the majority of the
people
show
interest in fine
arts
like
Bharatanatyam
,
Kathakali
, etc.
.
The enjoyment and feel
stress
reliever.

Secondly
, Most of the schools introducing at least two classes of this cultural activity per week.
So
that children will feel relief from the studies and will
show
interest and enthusiasm towards these cultural activities like singing and dancing etc.
.
For example
, In most of the
developing countries
, researchers have revealed that if we inculcate the
arts
and cultural activities as a part in their daily timetable, it will
improve
their concentration towards studies.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
agree
that
art
and music even
today
play an indispensable role in most of the individuals. And it is necessary that
today
's generation should
also
show
enthusiasm and learn. It is our responsibility as parents and teachers to
explain
the importance and
allow
them to learn these fine
arts
if they are
really
interested.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of the society. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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