Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Arts including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyle? Should the art be included in the school programs? v.2

Arts including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyle? Should the art be included in the school programs? v. 2
Artistic sphere comprising arts, music and play which contributes to the achievement of mind triggering performance are examined as the crucial aspect of the society. I with confidence believe that the arts of such still and even in the future holds greater place among us as it is the only medium that preserves ancient doings and at the same time rescue us from stress. As of this great importance, as well as creativity it develops, arts should be a part of academic programs. Arts plays its significant role in preserving almost every breakthrough in humankind through various creative methods that can be well understood. More to this, arts can also assist humans to flee away from the chaotic-realistic world. It is the medium that contributes to relax and thus motivate ourselves to operate our daily chores in greater speed and accuracy. For instance, as per the record published by New York Times, around 90% of people around the globe who are depressed tend to take the support of artistic elements as a feasible source to cure their problems by its half. Unlike old days schools focusing only on curriculum do not perform well as children tend to be bright and smart, leading them to be much more creative than before. In such arts stands to have major role in boosting performance. Visualizing, creative thinking will be high among children that can develop brain performance and indirectly boost the overall development of children. For example, almost 70 % of the institution from developed countries are including arts as a study program as it was able to boost the performance of children and become ingenious in their curriculum as well as creativity. Thus, this concludes arts is the most noteworthy program for studying. In conclusion, no matter how well developed and advance world gets arts holds its own significant position in preserving ancient importance and maintaining stress to its best level. Moreover, teaching artistic subjects can even assist children to outsmart others and rebuild the revolutionary world of their own.
Artistic sphere comprising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, music and play which contributes to the achievement of mind triggering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
are examined
as the crucial aspect of the society. I with confidence believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
of such
still
and even in the future holds greater place among us as it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
medium that preserves ancient doings and at the same time rescue us from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. As of this great importance, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as creativity it develops,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should be a part of academic programs.

Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "Art plays" or "Arts play".
Arts plays
its significant role in preserving almost every breakthrough in humankind through various creative methods that can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
understood. More to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can
also
assist humans to flee away from the chaotic-realistic world. It is the medium that contributes to relax and
thus
motivate ourselves to operate our daily chores in greater speed and accuracy.
For instance
, as per the record published by New York Times, around 90% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the globe who
are depressed
tend to take the support of artistic elements as a feasible source to cure their problems by its half.

Unlike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days schools focusing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on curriculum do not perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to be bright and smart, leading them to be much more creative than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
stands to have major role in boosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
. Visualizing, creative thinking will be high among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that can develop brain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
and
indirectly
boost the
overall
development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, almost 70 % of the institution from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
are including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
as a study program as it was able to boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and become ingenious in their curriculum as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as creativity.
Thus
, this concludes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is the most noteworthy program for studying.

In conclusion
, no matter how
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
and advance world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
holds its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significant position in preserving ancient importance and maintaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
to its best level.
Moreover
, teaching artistic subjects can even assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to outsmart others and rebuild the revolutionary world of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Arts including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyle? Should the art be included in the school programs? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts