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Argument show that it is better to own your business than to work for someone else v.1

Argument show that it is better to own your business than to work for someone else v. 1
Usually, people prefer to keep working for someone else instead of taking a step and starting their own businesses. I strongly believe that it is better to own your business than to work for someone else. Opponents of this position have two basic objections, primarily that starting a business is too risky and, secondly, that working for someone else provides you a stable income. As for risk, owning your business won’t be too risky if you planned it properly and studied it closely. As for income, as a business owner, you will have a higher income than a fixed monthly salary which also can secure your financial future, not to mention the fact that you may bring millions to your employer and still get the same salary. Owning a business has more job safety. Since you are your own boss, you can’t get fired. According to research from Willis Towers Watson, more than 25% of employees are in high- retention-risk which means that there is a big possibility for them to lose their jobs so owning your business will be safer. Being self-employed increases your productivity as a result of having a passion for your job. The story behind establishing most successful businesses emphasizes this idea. For instance, Anita Riddock, who was one of the most successful businesswomen, was the founder of The Body Shop. She grew up in difficult financial situations and worked as a newspaper seller and as a teacher until she noticed her passion for natural skincare and decided to start her own business. Subsequently, she started making her own natural skincare products and selling them in her small shop. Her small business kept growing more and more and now The Body Shop branches are all over the world. To conclude, it is clear that owning your business has more benefits than working for someone else. Carefully studied business is not too risky and it can provide you a higher income. Furthermore, as a business owner, you have more job safety since you are your own boss and more productivity since you are passionate about your job. For these reasons, I strongly believe that you must take a step forward and start your own business.
Usually
,
people
prefer to
keep
working for
someone
else
instead
of taking a step and starting their
own
businesses
. I
strongly
believe that it is better to
own
your
business
than to work for
someone
else.

Opponents of this position have two basic objections,
primarily
that starting a
business
is too risky and,
secondly
, that working for
someone
else provides you a stable
income
. As for
risk
, owning your
business
won’t be too risky if you planned it
properly
and studied it
closely
. As for
income
, as a
business
owner, you will have a higher
income
than a
fixed
monthly salary which
also
can secure your financial future, not to mention the fact that you may bring millions to your employer and
still
get
the same salary.

Owning a
business
has more
job
safety. Since you are your
own
boss, you can’t
get
fired. According to research from Willis Towers Watson, more than 25% of employees are in high- retention-
risk
which means that there is a
big
possibility for them to lose their
jobs
so
owning your
business
will be safer.

Being self-employed increases your productivity
as a result
of having a passion for your
job
. The story behind establishing most successful
businesses
emphasizes this
idea
.
For instance
, Anita
Riddock
, who was one of the most successful businesswomen, was the founder of The Body Shop. She grew up in difficult financial situations and worked as a newspaper seller and as a teacher until she noticed her passion for natural skincare and decided to
start
her
own
business
.
Subsequently
, she
started
making her
own
natural skincare products and selling them in her
small
shop. Her
small
business
kept
growing more and more and
now
The Body Shop branches are all over the world.

To conclude
, it is
clear
that owning your
business
has more benefits than working for
someone
else.
Carefully
studied
business
is not too risky and it can provide you a higher
income
.
Furthermore
, as a
business
owner, you have more
job
safety since you are your
own
boss and more productivity since you are passionate about your
job
. For these reasons, I
strongly
believe that you
must
take a step forward and
start
your
own
business
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Argument show that it is better to own your business than to work for someone else v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
368 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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