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Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions. v.6

Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions. v. 6
Quality of life represents how healthy human beings are living and how they are maintaining their living style, though it’s hard to believe that most living in the metropolitan cities people are getting rid of quality from their life cycles. There is a number of causes and solution which we are going to discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. Dealing with these cause it has been observed that there are many issues which divert the human mind nevertheless even force them to spend degraded life. Firstly, the Lifestyle of richest persons is one of the main influenced factors which generate tinkling in the mind of others to achieve these heights. As a result, people started giving more preference to money rather than to social life, it is also observed that these citizens even don’t have time for their family. There is an article published by Times magazine that a huge increase in people count has been observed those are living a life under debt that is provided either by banks or other independent firm just for fulfilling their materialistic dreams. There is one more concept turns out which states that the increased pressure of work schedule and target achievements of private companies affects the quality standard of the life cycle of metropolitans, hence they are getting away from their culture and family. What could be the situations can arise which act as the solution for these devastating issues? Firstly, proper planning in terms of finance has to be done by the family in together so they could lead a neat and tidy life as well a kind concern for saving ought to be the first preferences. Secondly, time schedule could be a laborious task, but it always gives you eternal happiness if you got a free time for oneself and family, even researchers believe that this time person can rejuvenate oneself from all the problems. Conclusively, I want to say that there is no doubt in a degraded life of metropolitan citizens due to a fast pace and eager to earn more in less time, but this could be manageable if proper planning has adopted by the person.
Quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
represents how healthy human beings are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
and how they are maintaining their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
style, though it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to believe that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the metropolitan cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are getting rid of quality from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
cycles. There is a number of causes and solution which we are going to discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.

Dealing with these cause it has
been observed
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues which divert the human mind
nevertheless
even force them to spend degraded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Firstly
, the Lifestyle of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the richest".
richest
persons is one of the main influenced factors which generate tinkling in the mind of others to achieve these heights.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
giving more preference to money
rather
than to social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it is
also
observed that these citizens even don’t have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their family.

There is an article published by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
magazine that a huge increase in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
count has
been observed
those are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
under debt that
is provided
either by banks or other independent firm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for fulfilling their materialistic dreams. There is one more concept turns out which states that the increased pressure of work schedule and target achievements of private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
affects the quality standard of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
cycle of metropolitans,
hence
they are getting away from their culture and family.

What could be the situations can arise which act as the solution for these devastating issues?
Firstly
, proper planning in terms of finance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be done
by the family in together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they could lead a neat and tidy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as well
a kind concern for saving ought to be the
first
preferences.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
schedule could be a laborious task,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it always gives you eternal happiness if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for oneself and family, even researchers believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
person can rejuvenate oneself from all the problems.

Conclusively
, I want to say that there is no doubt in a degraded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of metropolitan citizens due to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace and eager to earn more in less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this could be manageable if proper planning has adopted by the person.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. Discuss the causes and solutions. v. 6

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
357 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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