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An increasing number of professionals, such as, teachers and doctors are leaving their own countries to work in developed countries. What are the causes of this problems? What solutions can you suggest? v.1

An increasing number of professionals, such as, teachers and doctors are leaving their own countries to work in developed countries. What are the causes of this problems? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1
Many physicians and pedagogues are going abroad in order to work there. This essay will discuss several causes and suggest some solutions to solve this problem. Generally, more and more professionals, such as teachers and doctors are not valued in low-income countries; on the other hand, physicians and pedagogues have a low salary. Their salary is not enough to feed their families and educate their children. Therefore, they are forced to leave their own countries in order to work and live in developed countries. As a consequence of this situation, not only many children stay without parents’ attention and care, but also their countries do not develop, due to a lack of skilled professionals. For instance, many people graduating from universities in developed countries do not come in their own countries because of high salaries and benefits. A solution to this worrying problem is offering better payment and better living conditions. Moreover, the government of these countries can offer better salaries and spend their budget to improve the levels of living. For example, the government ought to borrow money with low interest for a long time. To conclude, many skilled professionals are leaving their native countries because they do not have adequate opportunities there. Consequently, their motherland does not develop. So I think that the government should support them by special plan.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
physicians and pedagogues are going abroad in order to work there. This essay will discuss several causes and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to solve this problem.

Generally
, more and more professionals, such as teachers and doctors are not valued in low-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
;
on the other hand
, physicians and pedagogues have a low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to feed their families and educate their children.
Therefore
, they
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in order to work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. As a consequence of this situation, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children stay without parents’ attention and care,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not develop, due to a lack of skilled professionals.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
graduating from universities in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not
The words "come in" and "come to" have different meanings. "Come in their office" means "have an orgasm in their office." "Come to" or "Come into" means "enter." Did you mean "come to" or "come into"?
come in
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and benefits.

A solution to this worrying problem is offering better payment and better living conditions.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can offer better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and spend their budget to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the levels of living.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to borrow money with low interest for a long time.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
skilled professionals are leaving their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have adequate opportunities there.
Consequently
, their motherland does not develop.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should support them by special plan.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay An increasing number of professionals, such as, teachers and doctors are leaving their own countries to work in developed countries. What are the causes of this problems? What solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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