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An increasing number of professionals, such as professionals, doctors and teachers are leaving their own poor countries to work in developed countries What problems do this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with the situation? v.1

An increasing number of professionals, such as professionals, doctors and teachers are leaving their own poor countries to work in developed countries What problems do this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with the situation? v. 1
Many people are moving to the developed countries for various reasons. Good job prospects, higher standard of living, health and improved education are the utmost important reasons for this shift. This results into enormous problems like down siding the economic and social conditions of the native country. This essay will discuss in detail these problems and will suggest some viable solutions to overcome same. First of all, the professionals leave their domestic countries for many reasons which has an economic effect on the same. For an instance, the native country is not able to get the benefit from the services of the shifting people, as such, there is a fall in the economic development of the country. In addition to the same, the individuals away from parents and family, starts feeling home sick and then depressed. Furthermore, the productivity is influenced resulting in job quitting. To face this situation, the Government of the developing nations should focus on improving the job quality, so that the people should feel reluctant to move overseas. Moreover, the pension scheme also need improvement. It should include not only the health insurance, also education of the dependent children, in that. In this way, the individuals will feel cognizant and responsible towards their own country. In conclusion, people shifting to the greener pastures affect the economic development of the province to a great extent. I feel, It is the duty of the government to look into same and arrange the basic amenities for its natives to make them stay in domestic area.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving to the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for various reasons.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
job prospects, higher standard of living, health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
education are the utmost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons for this shift. This results into enormous problems like down siding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
and social conditions of the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This essay will discuss in detail these problems and will suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
viable solutions to overcome same.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the professionals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons which has an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
effect on the same. For an instance, the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the benefit from the services of the shifting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as such, there is a fall in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In addition
to the same, the individuals away from parents and family,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
feeling home sick and then depressed.
Furthermore
, the productivity
is influenced
resulting in job quitting.

To face this situation, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
of the developing nations should focus on improving the job quality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should feel reluctant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
overseas.
Moreover
, the pension scheme
also
need improvement. It should include not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the health insurance,
also
education of the dependent children, in that. In this way, the individuals will feel cognizant and responsible towards their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shifting to the greener pastures affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development of the province to a great extent. I feel, It is the duty of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to look into same and arrange the basic amenities for its natives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them stay in domestic area.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay An increasing number of professionals, such as professionals, doctors and teachers are leaving their own poor countries to work in developed countries What problems do this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with the situation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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