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An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers are leaving their poor countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem? v.1

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers are leaving their poor countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem? v. 1
These days, migration to other countries in search of a better life is becoming increasingly popular. Many people study in their home country and migrate to the foreign country in search of good opportunities also due to lack of sufficient facilities, some people make their way to other countries. In many poor nations this issue is alarming as there was a sharp decline in the number of doctors and teachers. In this essay, I will discuss some of the main problems of this issue and some solutions to overcome the problem. Firstly, mass migration of professional people in hunt of jobs and quality life to other nations leads to very high demand in their own country. Doctors and engineers are very essential in building the nation. Many poor nations, often lack medications for heart and brain issues affecting the local people. For example, numerous African countries lack money to send patients to foreign nations for treatment. Furthermore, it is obvious that with the increasing demand for the professionals lead to the increase of basic facilities like education and medication. The solution is for the government to impose strict laws on migrations and encouraging people to work for their nation. They also should monitor well educated people across the country and should provide them with sufficient facilities to work. Secondly, teachers are considered as building blocks for children, due to low wages and insufficient security of their jobs in backward nations, they are leaving the home country for a new life. Additionally, with the scarcity of teachers, many schools in villages and rural areas are closed causing literacy decline. For instance, it is very common for teachers to expect some basic work facilities in schools like staff rooms and good school building. Although cities in backward nations have sufficient school teachers, there is a huge shortage in university professors which can cause a decline in scientific research and industrial development. Governments should allocate funds to research and should provide vital facilities for schools and universities. They should encourage teachers and professors with high standards like conducting courses from foreign instructors. To sum up, teaching or medical workers in search of a high standard living leave their motherland making their poor nation more poorer. They should think of their home people and should work for their nation. In my opinion, the main responsibility for solving the problem lies with the governments. They should encourage and provide necessary facilities for the educated people.
These days, migration to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in search of a better life is becoming
increasingly
popular.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
study in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and migrate to the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in search of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunities
also
due to lack of sufficient facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their way to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
this issue is alarming as there was a sharp decline in the number of doctors and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. In this essay, I will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
main problems of this issue and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to overcome the problem.

Firstly
, mass migration of professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in hunt of jobs and quality life to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high demand in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Doctors and engineers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential in building the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lack medications for heart and brain issues affecting the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, numerous African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
lack money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
patients to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
for treatment.
Furthermore
, it is obvious that with the increasing demand for the professionals lead to the increase of basic facilities like education and medication. The solution is for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to impose strict laws on migrations and encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. They
also
should monitor
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and should provide them with sufficient facilities to work.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are considered
as building blocks for children, due to low wages and insufficient security of their jobs in backward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, they are leaving the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for a new life.
Additionally
, with the scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in villages and rural areas
are closed
causing literacy decline.
For instance
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic work facilities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
like staff rooms and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
building. Although cities in backward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, there is a huge shortage in university professors which can cause a decline in scientific research and industrial development.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should allocate funds to research and should provide vital facilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and universities. They should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and professors with high standards like conducting courses from foreign instructors.

To sum up, teaching or medical workers in search of a high standard living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their motherland making their poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
Use only "poorer" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more poorer
. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and should work for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. In my opinion, the main responsibility for solving the problem lies with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. They should encourage and provide necessary facilities for the educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers are leaving their poor countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
410 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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