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An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problem does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation? v.1

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problem does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation? v. 1
It is observed that a lot of skilled people like physicians and tutors are migrating to developed countries from developing countries. Unavailability of skilled labor laws and costly basic needs are the major reasons for migration. The essay states two simple solutions for this issue. One of the major causes of this problem is that the job market provides extremely low salaries to well educated professionals as compared to the first world countries like Canada, Australia and the United Kingdom. Consequently, people are becoming disheartened, immigrating to the countries where they can earn handsome salary packages with adequate social security benefits. Another problem is that the inflation rate is increasing exponentially high for basic needs. As a result, people hardly make money to fulfill their end needs in third world countries. For instance, average Pakistani MBA graduate is earning around PKR 35000 and inflation of Pakistan increased 15% as compared to the previous year, The Express News reported that. There are two effective solutions to these issues. Firstly, the government should set minimum salaries criteria and social security laws for professionals of each sector so that precious human resource must be utilized fully for the benefits of their own country. Secondly, they should enact effective economic policies to control growingly inflation so that it would not affect basic needs. To illustrate, Japan amended its constitution after World War 2 to facilitate skilled workers and set up price controlling committees across the country. In other words, they set minimum wage criteria along with social security benefits for their skilled labor. To conclude, enactment of low salaries criteria with social security benefits and inflation control strategies are extremely important to solve the migration issue caused by inflation and inadequate salaries package.
It
is observed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like physicians and tutors are migrating to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
from developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Unavailability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
labor laws and costly basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
are the major reasons for migration. The essay states two simple solutions for this issue.

One of the major causes of this problem is that the job market provides
extremely
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
to
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
professionals as compared to the
first
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Canada, Australia and the United Kingdom.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are becoming disheartened, immigrating to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where they can earn handsome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
packages with adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
. Another problem is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inflation
rate is increasing
exponentially
high for basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money to fulfill their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
in third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, average Pakistani MBA graduate is earning around
Possible spelling mistake found.
PKR
35000 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inflation
of Pakistan increased 15% as compared to the previous year, The Express News reported that.

There are two effective solutions to these issues.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should set minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
criteria and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
laws for professionals of each sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that precious human resource
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be utilized
fully
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Secondly
, they should enact effective economic policies to control
Possible spelling mistake found.
growingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inflation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it would not affect basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
. To illustrate, Japan amended its constitution after World War 2 to facilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
workers and set up price controlling committees across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In other words
, they set minimum wage criteria along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
labor.

To conclude
, enactment of low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
criteria with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inflation
control strategies are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to solve the migration issue caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inflation
and inadequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
package.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problem does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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