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Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. Discuss both views. v.1

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. v. 1
People have different arguments regarding zoos. It is considered by some people, that keeping animals in zoos is wrong, while some think that zoos are essential from entertainment and ecological aspects. In my view, zoos have both positive and negative sides. On the one hand, we can see the merits of zoos from different perspectives. Firstly, From the environmental perspective, zoos play an important role in wildlife conservation, as they help to protect our endangered species. They also allow scientists to study animal behavior. Secondly, zoos employ a large number of people. They provide income opportunities for the local area, which is an advantage from an economic perception. The earned money can be used for further conservation projects. Thirdly, for individuals, they find zoos interesting, educational, and fun. Children learn to appreciate wildlife and nature. Zoos make a great day out for families. On the other hand, the demerits of zoos can be described from the environmental and moral perspective. From an environmental perspective, Zoos are artificial environments. Animals lose their instinct to hunt for food. Although many modern zoos go to great lengths to make the animals in their care comfortable, they are unable to provide the freedom associated with the animal’s natural world. It would be better to save endangered species by protecting their natural habitats. Also, keeping animals in cages is unethical from our moral perspective. We have no right to use them for entertainment purposes. Zoos exhibit animals with the aim of making a profit. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against zoos.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
arguments regarding zoos. It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, that keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that zoos are essential from entertainment and ecological aspects. In my view, zoos have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides.

On the one hand, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the merits of zoos from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perspectives
.
Firstly
, From the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perspective
, zoos play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in wildlife conservation, as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to protect our endangered species. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
scientists to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
behavior.
Secondly
, zoos employ
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They provide income opportunities for the local area, which is an advantage from an economic perception. The earned money can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
further
conservation projects.
Thirdly
, for individuals, they find zoos interesting, educational, and fun. Children learn to appreciate wildlife and nature. Zoos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great day out for families.

On the other hand
, the demerits of zoos can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
from the environmental and moral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perspective
. From an environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perspective
, Zoos are artificial environments.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
lose their instinct to hunt for food. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern zoos go to great lengths to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in their care comfortable, they are unable to provide the freedom associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal’s
natural world. It would be better to save endangered species by protecting their natural habitats.
Also
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in cages is unethical from our moral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perspective
. We have no right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for entertainment purposes. Zoos exhibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
with the aim of making a profit.

In conclusion
, there are convincing arguments both for and against zoos.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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