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Some people think that books should be stopped in schools that film videos and computer should be used to what extent do you agree v.2

Some people think that books should be stopped in schools that film videos and computer should be used 2
These days, with the rapid advancement of technology, computers and televisions are becoming increasingly popular in daily activities. Schools are also no exception for them, as books can be easily replaced by videos which can be played on computers or as films. Some people believe that books can be replaced by these modern technologies. However, I completely disagree with this statement and in this essay I will discuss some of my opinions. Firstly, Many people thinks that books provide a good mood and flavour for studying. What I mean by this is that books which are the primary source of educational material for school students, can be easily underlined and can be turned front and back easily, which is quite easy compared to that of videos. Furthermore, books can be easily transported to any place without any issues, while the electronic device's such as a smartphone or a laptop to be carried for watching video lessons. For example, most of the examination centres would not allow electronic items, hence making the way for books for last minute revisions. In addition to this, watching videos continuously for educational purposes can sometimes lead to eyesight and headaches among students. It is very obvious that constantly watching any electronic device can lead to health issues because of the colour difference it produces. Moreover, many children can misuse the electronic devices by playing games or surfing the internet during their study hours. Finally, everyone can't afford computers or filming devices for studies, for instance, it is very difficult for many people buying these expensive devices. Turning onto the other side of the argument, some people believe that video tutorials contain more highlighted content compared to that of books like explaining only the important points instead of reading all the whole book. They also think that watching virtual content often reduces exam stress as it always encourages students with elaborated theory and visual examples. To sum up, although it is very easy to use film videos and computers for visual explanations, they limit the student's imagination power. Using the electronic devices for long hours always has risk of health issues. In my opinion, problems of virtual content in the form of transportation, reduced imagination power and misuse of the devices by children always leads the way to books.
These days, with the rapid advancement of technology, computers and televisions are becoming
increasingly
popular in daily activities. Schools are
also
no exception for them, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
replaced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
which can
be played
on computers or as films.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can
be replaced
by these modern technologies.
However
, I completely disagree with this statement and in this essay I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my opinions.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mood and
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
for studying. What I mean by this is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which are the primary source of educational material for school students, can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
underlined and can
be turned
front and back
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
, which is quite easy compared to that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easily
transported to any place without any issues, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
device's such as a smartphone or a laptop to
be carried
for watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
lessons.
For example
, most of the examination
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
items,
hence
making the way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
for last minute revisions.

In addition
to this, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
continuously
for educational purposes can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
lead to eyesight and headaches among students. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
obvious that
constantly
watching any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
can lead to health issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
difference it produces.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children can misuse the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
by playing games or surfing the internet during their study hours.
Finally
, everyone can't afford computers or filming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
for studies,
for instance
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
buying these expensive devices.

Turning onto the other side of the argument,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
tutorials contain more highlighted content compared to that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
like explaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
points
instead
of reading all the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that watching virtual content
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
exam
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
as it always encourages students with elaborated theory and visual examples.

To sum up, although it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
and computers for visual explanations, they limit the student's imagination power. Using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
for long hours always has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of health issues. In my opinion, problems of virtual content in the form of transportation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
imagination power and misuse of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
by children always leads the way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that books should be stopped in schools that film videos and computer should be used 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
383 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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