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An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems do this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v.14

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems do this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v. 14
Nowadays, more and more people are leaving their home countries to live and work in foreign countries. In this essay we will discuss about the impacts such as skill shortage and economic slowdown and also the possible solutions to overcome this trend by implementing better compensation and living condition by the government. First of all, one of the major problems caused by skilled immigrants are professional skill shortage in their home country. Furthermore, skills like medical practitioner are critical for the underdeveloped countries, due to the shortage of resources which will force the government to increase their spending on a foreign technology and the medicines. For example, in a recent study conducted by the WHO (world health organization) revealed that 20% of mortalities in underdeveloped countries are due to the shortage of doctors. Thus, Brain drain is a serious issue for third world nation. On the other hand, executing better compensation and living conditions to the skilled professionals by the government will reduce the emigrant population. It is normal that highly skilled, salaried people will expect a better working condition and a high class lifestyle for their family. Government should enforce decent compensation and benefits policy which has been followed in western countries. For instance, in the year 2010 Bangladesh took a long-term loan from world bank to improve the living condition of their people. Therefore, it is a government responsibility to provide satisfying work condition and a lifestyle for the skilled workers to keep them in their own country. To summarize, Brain drain can be mitigated through enforcing benchmarked compensation policies and living condition by government authorities, which can prevent this from worsening
Nowadays, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are leaving their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In this essay we will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
impacts such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shortage
and economic slowdown and
also
the possible solutions to overcome this trend by implementing better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compensation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one of the major problems caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
immigrants are professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shortage
in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like medical practitioner are critical for the underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shortage
of resources which will force the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to increase their spending on a foreign technology and the medicines.
For example
, in a recent study conducted by the WHO (
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world health organization
) revealed that 20% of
Possible spelling mistake found.
mortalities
in underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shortage
of doctors.
Thus
, Brain drain is a serious issue for third world nation.

On the other hand
, executing better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compensation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
conditions to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
professionals by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the emigrant population. It is normal that
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
, salaried
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a better working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
and a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
lifestyle for their family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should enforce decent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compensation
and benefits policy which has
been followed
in western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, in the year 2010 Bangladesh took a long-term loan from
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world bank
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
, it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
responsibility to provide satisfying work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
and a lifestyle for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
workers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.

To summarize
, Brain drain can
be mitigated
through enforcing benchmarked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compensation
policies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
authorities, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this
Did you mean "form"?
from
worsening
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems do this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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