Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v.10

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v. 10
Over the last decades, brain drain has become a widespread phenomenon, especially in many underdeveloped areas of the world. In this essay, I will discuss some significant problems related to the emigration of highly trained people and also suggest some possible solutions to tackle this problem. Needless to say, education and health sectors of the poorest nations are affected by the migration of highly qualified teachers and doctors. These skilled individuals leave their own countries in search of a better quality of life and higher salaries, which results in underdevelopment of medical and educational services of home countries. It can be illustrated by the fact the standard of education in some poor parts of the world is on the wane due to inadequate professionals in the education sector. It is quite likely that this problem eventually leads to poorer education systems in the long run. On top of that, the scarcity of qualified workers would manifest itself in the economic sector of the poor country. A large number of skilled workers leave their nations to have a high standard of living, which can lead poor countries to confront an economic crisis. In effect, the emigration of talented individuals results in lack of professionals in some areas such as science, technology, and innovation and so forth. Consequently, the posterity will not have any privilege of taking benefit from specialized people, which leads poor countries to weaken both financially and economically. Some measures would be taken to combat this problem. First of all, undeveloped countries could improve the standard of living to prevent them from leaving the country. It could be possible to reduce brain drain by raising salaries of highly educated workers. Moreover, adequate facilities could be supplied for science and medical areas to enhance employees’ productivity and interest. To conclude, poor nations could face several problems aforementioned above, due to the brain drain which might be addressed by providing skilled employees with higher salaries as well as offering high-quality facilities.
Over the last decades, brain drain has become a widespread phenomenon,
especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
underdeveloped areas of the world. In this essay, I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to the emigration of
highly
trained
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
also
suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions to tackle this problem.

Needless to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and health sectors of the poorest nations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the migration of
highly
qualified teachers and doctors. These skilled individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in search of a better quality of life and higher salaries, which results in underdevelopment of medical and educational services of home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It can
be illustrated
by the fact the standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
parts of the world is on the wane due to inadequate professionals in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector. It is quite likely that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
eventually
leads to poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
systems in the long run.

On top of that
, the scarcity of qualified workers would manifest itself in the economic sector of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
skilled workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their nations to have a high standard of living, which can lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to confront an economic crisis. In effect, the emigration of talented individuals results in lack of professionals in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas such as science, technology, and innovation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.
Consequently
, the posterity will not have any privilege of taking benefit from specialized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to weaken both
financially
and
economically
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
measures would
be taken
to combat this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the standard of living to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from leaving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It could be possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
brain drain by raising salaries of
highly
educated workers.
Moreover
, adequate facilities could
be supplied
for science and medical areas to enhance employees’ productivity and interest.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
nations could face several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
aforementioned above, due to the brain drain which might
be addressed
by providing skilled employees with higher salaries
as well
as offering high-quality facilities.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
330 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts