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An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v.1

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v. 1
A number of developing and underdeveloped countries are facing the issue of brain drain. The migration of highly skilled workforce leaves the country with a lack of human resource and finance. There are a number of steps that can be taken to alleviate this problem. Firstly, the relocation of skilled professionals such as doctors and engineers causes a dearth of skilled resource in their home country. When qualified people migrate, their home country loses out on a great resource for the national institutions. Secondly, brain drain also causes a financial loss as the life long earnings of moving individual are lost with relocation. While working in their home country, a number of skilled professionals invest their savings in projects which contribute to national economy which move out with them in case of relocation. There are a number of steps that can be taken to mitigate this issue. Firstly, the organizations can ensure provision of lucrative jobs so that individuals do not contemplate migration. The organizations should come up with good remuneration packages for skilled employees. Secondly, the governments should provide basic facilities to the people so that they do not look for better lifestyle outside of the country. A number of people migrate from their home country because of the lack of basic facilities such as roads and electricity. Better facilities to live will definitely result in lesser instances of migration. In conclusion, brain drain is a pressing concern which causes loss of both human resource and investment. The governments and companies have to act now to provide better facilities and salaries to skilled professionals so that this trend can be stemmed.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of developing and underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are facing the issue of brain drain. The migration of
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
workforce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with a lack of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
and finance. There are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of steps that can
be taken
to alleviate this problem.

Firstly
, the relocation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
professionals such as doctors and engineers causes a dearth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. When qualified
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrate, their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
loses out on a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
for the national institutions.
Secondly
, brain drain
also
causes a financial loss as the life long earnings of moving individual
are lost
with relocation. While working in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
professionals invest their savings in projects which contribute to national economy which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out with them in case of relocation.

There are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of steps that can
be taken
to mitigate this issue.
Firstly
, the organizations can ensure provision of lucrative jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that individuals do not contemplate migration. The organizations should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
remuneration packages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
employees.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should provide basic facilities to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not look for better lifestyle
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrate from their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of basic facilities such as roads and electricity. Better facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
will definitely result in lesser instances of migration.

In conclusion
, brain drain is a pressing concern which causes loss of both human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
and investment. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
act
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to provide better facilities and salaries to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skilled
professionals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that this trend can
be stemmed
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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