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An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem? v.3

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem? v. 3
Due to proliferate ratio of the youngsters who are heavy weighted, tend to raise several health issues as well as the price that is invested for the treatment. According to my perception, there are various reasons for teenagers gaining more weight. However, some productive solutions can bring change to the problem. On the one hand, there are several grounds why the youth, nowadays grow more obese. The first and the foremoat one is, children majorly prefer to consume street food instead of opting nutritioua and homemade diet. To be more specific, at present, teenagers are addicted to eat food such as pizza, burger and many more which takes longer time to digest and consumption of such type of food on daily basis leads an individual to obesity. Consequently, a person may suffer from severe illness such as heart attack which in turn burgeon their expenditure on treatment. To illustrate, one of my friends suffered from a heart attack due to her more weight and addiction towards junk food. On the other hand, there are various remedies to overcome the aforementioned problem. To begin with, a daily exercise and adopting the healthy diet can resist a child to gain heavy weight. To elaborate, the youth should have habit of regular exercise and performing some of the yogasanas. Despite this, they should adopt to eat such type of food that provides vitamis, proteins and calcium which are required for a human body. For example, though my grandfather is his early seventies, he is very fit and healthy, because of following his saily exercise and diet very accuratel. To conclude, this essay not only discussed the reasons but also the effective solution for the given statement. In my opinion, an individual is responsible for their own health.
Due to proliferate ratio of the youngsters who are heavy weighted, tend to raise several health issues
as well
as the price that
is invested
for the treatment. According to my perception, there are various reasons for
teenagers
gaining more weight.
However
,
some
productive solutions can bring
change
to the problem.

On the one hand, there are several grounds why the youth, nowadays grow more obese. The
first
and the
foremoat
one is, children
majorly
prefer to consume street
food
instead
of opting
nutritioua
and homemade diet. To be more specific, at present,
teenagers
are addicted
to eat
food
such as pizza, burger and
many
more which takes longer time to digest and consumption of such type of
food
on daily basis leads an individual to obesity.
Consequently
, a person may suffer from severe illness such as heart attack which in turn burgeon their expenditure on treatment. To illustrate, one of my friends suffered from a heart attack due to her more weight and addiction towards junk food.

On the other hand
, there are various remedies to overcome the aforementioned problem. To
begin
with, a daily exercise and adopting the healthy diet can resist a child to gain heavy weight. To elaborate, the youth should have habit of regular exercise and performing
some of the
yogasanas
. Despite this, they should
adopt to
eat such type of
food
that provides
vitamis
, proteins and calcium which
are required
for a human body.
For example
, though my grandfather is his early seventies, he is
very
fit and healthy,
because
of following his
saily
exercise and diet
very
accuratel
.

To conclude
, this essay not
only
discussed the reasons
but
also
the effective solution for the
given
statement. In my opinion, an individual is responsible for their
own
health.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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