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An establishing shot is used by film directors to briefly show the setting of a scene and give the viewer a larger context. The purpose of an establishing shot may be to give background information or provide a setting to the viewer. The context of the es v.1

An establishing shot is used by film directors to briefly show the setting of a scene and give the viewer a larger context. The purpose of an establishing shot may be to give background information or provide a setting to the viewer. The context of the es v. 1
Although, there is no doubt that diverse ethnic colonies are emerging and it is important to determine the effects on the formation of society. I believe, it is beneficial because of the possibilities for becoming multilingual for future growth and to broaden the horizons. First of all, the positive trait of living in a multi-cultured society is opportunities for learning more languages. This is because interactions with multilingual people can help you to learn further languages and acquaintance of various dialects can aid to gain international business or work prospects. For example, fluency of language like French and Spanish can open various doors for job opportunities in Europe. If, instead, people will stay concerned on one tongue, lack of knowledge could attract very less trade windows with other regions and this could result into narrow business expansion and lower confidence of trading. Furthermore, multicultural neighbourhood can enrich comprehension of diverse cultures. Due to this, a person can help himself to increase a broad spectrum of thinking capabilities with learning and understanding depth of several traditions. For instance, reading literatures or learning about certain other dialect can teach him history, arts, foods and traditional festivals as well. In contrast, staying unfamiliar with such exquisite knowledge can be a drawback and there would be no such pleasure of enjoying different festivals and multicultural cuisines. In conclusion, because of the chances for learning other tongues and to feel the traditions of vast cultures, I believe such positive influences from a multi-regional individuals can bring more prosperity in the community.
Although, there is no doubt that diverse ethnic colonies are emerging and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to determine the effects on the formation of society. I believe, it is beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the possibilities for becoming multilingual for future growth and to broaden the horizons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trait of living in a multi-cultured society is opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
more languages. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
interactions with multilingual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to learn
further
languages and acquaintance of various dialects can aid to gain international business or work prospects.
For example
, fluency of language like French and Spanish can open various doors for job opportunities in Europe. If,
instead
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will stay concerned on one tongue, lack of knowledge could attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less trade windows with other regions and this could result into narrow business expansion and lower confidence of trading.

Furthermore
, multicultural
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
can enrich comprehension of diverse cultures. Due to this, a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
himself to increase a broad spectrum of thinking capabilities with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and understanding depth of several traditions.
For instance
, reading literatures or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
about certain other dialect can teach him history, arts, foods and traditional festivals
as well
.
In contrast
, staying unfamiliar with such exquisite knowledge can be a drawback and there would be no such pleasure of enjoying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
festivals and multicultural cuisines.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the chances for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
other tongues and to feel the traditions of vast cultures, I believe such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influences from a multi-regional individuals can bring more prosperity in the community.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay An establishing shot is used by film directors to briefly show the setting of a scene and give the viewer a larger context. The purpose of an establishing shot may be to give background information or provide a setting to the viewer. The context of the es v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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