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Many processed foods and ready-made meals contain preservatives and chemicals. What are the advantages to this? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Many processed foods and ready-made meals contain preservatives and chemicals. What are the advantages to this? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
The journey from hunting for food to having meals on click of a button is evolutionary, party to this we have also made preservatives as an ingredient of our daily consumptions. This might be beneficial in some cases where the place is suffering from natural calamities or is in war for significant time, other than that I believe that these artificial ingredients have been detrimental to the health of many people and is slowing poisoning the population. These additives make perishable food sustain a longer shelf life, for example, now we get toned milk, which can be used up-to 90 days compared to the fresh milk which has to be consumed in one day. Such properties have made them admirable for places with extreme climates. In addition, these meals are found very useful in the places where environmental disasters have taken place, we have witnessed many rescue teams distribute items which are mostly preservable. These are beneficial for soldiers in war like situations, these items give them energy to sustain a difficult condition. As a result, the chemical infused meals supplement the wholesome eating and allows people to survive the extreme situations. On the other hand, these supplements are deteriorating the human life. Many people are diagnosed with cancer and other critical illness because of these artificial chemicals in our daily meals. Certain items such as packed fruit juice or flavoured milk are filled with sugar are very harmful for children at a young age, in a recent survey, it resulted that many young people are having type 2 diabetes and it was not inherent. Moreover, these non perishable items are also responsible for obesity and eating disorder. Thus, these processed foods have many negatives than positives. In conclusion, many ready-made foods contain preservatives and harmful chemicals which can be resourceful in helping countries affect with disasters whereas daily consumption of these packed meals is damaging the generation.
The journey from hunting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
on click of a button is evolutionary, party to this we have
also
made preservatives as an ingredient of our daily
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
. This might be beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is suffering from natural calamities or is in war for significant time, other than that I believe that these artificial ingredients have been detrimental to the health of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and is slowing poisoning the population.

These additives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
perishable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
sustain a longer shelf life,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
toned milk, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up-to 90 days compared to the fresh milk which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be consumed
in one day. Such properties have made them admirable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with extreme climates.
In addition
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
are found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where environmental disasters have taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, we have witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
rescue teams distribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
which are
mostly
preservable. These are beneficial for soldiers in war like situations, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
give them energy to sustain a difficult condition.
As a result
, the chemical infused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
supplement the wholesome eating and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to survive the extreme situations.

On the other hand
, these supplements are deteriorating the human life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are diagnosed
with cancer and other critical illness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these artificial chemicals in our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
. Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
such as packed fruit juice or
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavoured' is British English.
flavoured
milk
are filled
with sugar are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful for children at a young age, in a recent survey, it resulted that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having type 2 diabetes and it was not inherent.
Moreover
, these
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non perishable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are
also
responsible for obesity and eating disorder.
Thus
, these processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
negatives than positives.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
contain preservatives and harmful chemicals which can be resourceful in helping countries
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
with disasters whereas daily consumption of these packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
is damaging the generation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Many processed foods and ready-made meals contain preservatives and chemicals. What are the advantages to this? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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