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Although online news on the market is becoming quite popular, newspapers will still remain as the main source of accurate news. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Although online news on the market is becoming quite popular, newspapers will still remain as the main source of accurate news. v. 1
In recent years, due to advanced technology, technological applications have drawn public attention. Some of them maybe threaten human's security, such as stalking mobile phone and video surveillance. In the most common cases, there are many people do not realize that they are being witnessed. This essay will discuss the positives and negatives of the above view and I strongly believe that it has more benefits for our society. It is demonstrated that the utilization of technological devices has increased. It is no doubt that there are many video cameras which are located everywhere by authorities and phone-tracking systems which monitor their residents' behaviours. It is unfavourable for the general public since the monitoring data is confidential. In other words, they are notified to the public. If these data are misused by the member of the authorities like being sold to another party for business or political purposes, the citizens' privacy will be attacked and they will not easily aware of. Although the developed techniques have created an insecure situation for the people, it still brings many advantages for them if such techniques are utilized properly. For instance, with the existence of CCTV, it is helpful for the police department to prevent and investigate and crime activities. If the advancement of monitoring activities are being continued, the difficulties of criminals will dramatically climb up and it also reduced the number of crimes. In conclusion, it indicates that the popularity of the usage of advanced technology tools by the government. In addition, in common cases, these monitoring activities are not informed to the public that may be harmful to their privacy. However, in my opinion, it will have more advantages than that disadvantage if those tools are used appropriately.
In recent years, due to advanced technology, technological applications have drawn
public
attention.
Some
of them maybe threaten human's security, such as stalking mobile phone and video surveillance. In the most common cases, there are
many
people
do not realize that they are
being witnessed
. This essay will discuss the positives and negatives of the above view and I
strongly
believe that it has more benefits for our society.

It
is demonstrated
that the utilization of technological devices has increased. It is no doubt that there are
many
video cameras which
are located
everywhere by authorities and phone-tracking systems which monitor their residents'
behaviours
.
It
is
unfavourable
for the general
public
since the monitoring data is confidential.
In other words
, they
are notified
to the
public
. If these data
are misused
by the member of the authorities like
being sold
to another party for business or political purposes, the citizens' privacy will be
attacked and
they will not
easily
aware of.

Although the developed techniques have created an insecure situation for the
people
, it
still
brings
many
advantages for them if such techniques
are utilized
properly
.
For instance
, with the existence of CCTV, it is helpful for the police department to
prevent
and investigate and crime activities. If the advancement of monitoring activities are
being continued
, the difficulties of criminals will
dramatically
climb up and it
also
reduced
the number of crimes.

In conclusion
, it indicates that the popularity of the usage of advanced technology tools by the
government
.
In addition
, in common cases, these monitoring activities are not informed to the
public
that may be harmful to their privacy.
However
, in my opinion, it will have more advantages than that disadvantage if those tools are
used
appropriately
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Although online news on the market is becoming quite popular, newspapers will still remain as the main source of accurate news. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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