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Although more and more people read the news on the Internet newspaper will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people Do you agree or disagree with that statement v.2

Although more and more people read the news on the Internet newspaper will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people v. 2
By the end of the 19th century, and the beginning of the 20th century, the newspaper industry with the advent of the New York Times, has grown tremendously and played an important role in providing news to readers. But nowadays, in my opinion, the development of online newspapers in particular, the internet in general, brings many new aspects to journalism. First and foremost, online newspapers have the ability to store huge information, whether old or new. And with the presence of the Internet around almost every corner of the world, people with a portable device such as a mobile phone can get access to huge storage of news. Therefore, readers want to look up, learn about events, news that happened for a long time ago is completely possible to perform by simple operations. By contrast, with prolonging procedures including editing and printing, a traditional newspaper might not be able to compete with the Internet in terms of updating speed. In addition, high interaction is an indispensable advantage of online newspapers and makes an important contribution to the transmission of information to readers. The electronic newspaper not only offers articles by journalists and reporters but also immediately receives feedback from readers through the comment lines under each reader’s article. It can be seen that the online newspaper is a public forum that journalists and readers can exchange and share frankly about a problem in society. This is a feature that traditional (printed) newspapers cannot do and is only one-way interaction to people: reading. The ultimate advantage of online newspapers is that information from around the world is updated regularly. Meanwhile, the printed press is limited to a certain area and scope and is difficult to update. And the best advantage of online newspapers is that people will not have to spend money on buying monthly newspapers. In conclusion, I disagree that the printed newspapers would continue to be the most crucial ( greatest) source of information because the more people turn to online newspapers for its benefits, the more difficult the traditional newspaper is
By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the 19th century, and the beginning of the 20th century, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
industry with the advent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York Times, has grown
tremendously
and played an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to readers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
nowadays, in my opinion, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
in particular
, the internet
in general
, brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
aspects to journalism.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
have the ability to store huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, whether
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
. And with the presence of the Internet around almost every corner of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a portable device such as a mobile phone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to huge storage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
Therefore
, readers want to look up, learn about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that happened for a long time ago is completely possible to perform by simple operations. By contrast, with prolonging procedures including editing and printing, a traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
might not be able to compete with the Internet in terms of updating speed.

In addition
, high interaction is an indispensable advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
contribution to the transmission of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to readers. The electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
offers articles by journalists and reporters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
immediately receives feedback from readers through the comment lines under each reader’s article. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is a public forum that journalists and readers can exchange and share
frankly
about a problem in society. This is a feature that traditional (printed)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
cannot do and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one-way interaction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
: reading.

The ultimate advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from around the world
is updated
regularly
. Meanwhile, the printed press
is limited
to a certain area and scope and is difficult to update.

And the best advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend money on buying monthly newspapers.

In conclusion
, I disagree that the printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
would continue to be the most crucial
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
greatest) source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
for its benefits, the more difficult the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
is
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Although more and more people read the news on the Internet newspaper will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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