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Although more and more people need news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Although more and more people need news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news. v. 1
These days growing amounts of waste is an urgent problem. Although there are many factors that lead to this, there are some solutions. The main part of garbage produced by humanity is household wastes. Household waste is disposable materials generated by people in daily life, which includes food scarps, paper, bottles, e. t. c. A study conducted by British scientists revealed that the average volume of producing domestic waste in 1997 was equal to 450 kilograms per capita a year, whereas in 2017 this indicator was equal to 650 kg. The negative trend keeps pacing and of the main reasons for that are daily usage product producers. From year to year manufactures have been looking for methods of sales growth, which is quite difficult in modern circumstances because of the high competitiveness level of the market. That’s why companies with the understanding that price and quality of the biggest part of products are equal decided to attract customers with fancy packages. Everything is now packed in several layers. For instance, I recently bought a phone. It was in a box, which was wrapped by a tape. The phone, power adapter, charging cable, headphones, usage guide was also wrapped. Just imagine how much waste is produced because of only one phone. It is important that actions are taken to combat these problems. First of all, governments should ensure that adequate legislation and controls are in place that will stop companies use so much material when packing their products. Ordinary folks also have a part to play. There are many ways common people can help to solve the problem, including eliminating single use plastic bottles and dishes, donating clothes and recycle and sort garbage. Companies must also try to become more eco-friendly and as a possible solution uses recyclable packages, or offer discounts to customer that choose products without/ with less package. To sum up, rapidly rising waste amount is a real problem that has to be solved as soon as possible. However, with the serious approach by individuals, governments and business, the situation can be changed.
These days growing amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
is an urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors that lead to this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

The main part of garbage produced by humanity is household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wastes
. Household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
is disposable materials generated by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in daily life, which includes food scarps, paper, bottles, e. t. c. A study conducted by British scientists revealed that the average volume of producing domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
in 1997 was equal to 450 kilograms per capita a year, whereas in 2017 this indicator was equal to 650 kg. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
pacing and of the main reasons for that are daily usage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
producers. From year to year manufactures have been looking for methods of sales growth, which is quite difficult in modern circumstances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high competitiveness level of the market. That’s why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
with the understanding that price and quality of the biggest part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are equal decided to attract customers with fancy packages. Everything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
packed in several layers.
For instance
, I recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a phone. It was in a box, which
was wrapped
by a tape. The phone, power adapter, charging cable, headphones, usage guide was
also
wrapped.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
imagine how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
is produced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one phone.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that actions
are taken
to combat these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should ensure that adequate legislation and controls are in place that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much material when packing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Ordinary folks
also
have a part to play. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, including eliminating single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
plastic bottles and dishes, donating clothes and recycle and sort garbage.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
try to become more eco-friendly and as a possible solution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
recyclable packages, or offer discounts to customer that choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
without/ with less package.

To sum up,
rapidly
rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
amount is a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be solved
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
However
, with the serious approach by individuals,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and business, the situation can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Although more and more people need news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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