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People in the community can buy cheaper product nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

People in the community can buy cheaper product nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Invention and research are always mutually inclusive to each other. There is a widespread suspicion when research works are owned by private enterprises. Because, we have been acclimated to the notion that the research programs should always be government owned. This essay will cover the salient points of private owned research programs. To begin with, there are multiple bottlenecks when trying to commence a government owned or government sponsored research program. Furthermore, it may require to get multiple approvals from various departments in order to get the right funding as well as the required infrastructure needs. This acts as a red tape in impeding the interest of the people who have invested so much of their efforts to realise their dreams. On the contrary, there would be no interferences if the research work is governed by private organisations. Owing to this reason, the outcome of the research will soon yield the success. The other major advantage of private owned innovation is that, there will be no role for the media to have a constant touch about the various stages of the research. Thereby, the research work will be tightly held as secret and no technological theft can happen. For example, space exploration is a daunting task and it even requires a huge amount of money to be invested. Because of this reason, many countries are unwilling to shed their financial reserves to explore the outer space. However, the private organisation SpaceX has started launching satellites and rovers from its own Launchpad. This practice has opened a vision of promoting private enterprises in the research oriented work. In conclusion, as far as my views are concerned, research owned by private bodies is a beneficial phenomenon for which there are a number of significant advantages. Therefore, the governments should begin to liberalise and incentivize the private organisations who are involved with such practices, as they are better equipped to outweigh the time consuming government funded research. If that happens, there will be a promising future.
Invention and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
are always
mutually
inclusive to each other. There is a widespread suspicion when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
works are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
enterprises.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, we have
been acclimated
to the notion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
programs should always be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
. This essay will cover the salient points of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
programs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are multiple bottlenecks when trying to commence a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
sponsored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
program.
Furthermore
, it may require to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
multiple approvals from various departments in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the right funding
as well
as the required infrastructure needs. This acts as a red tape in impeding the interest of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have invested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much of their efforts to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
their dreams.
On the contrary
, there would be no interferences if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
work
is governed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
. Owing to this reason, the outcome of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
yield the success.

The other major advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
innovation is that, there will be no role for the media to have a constant touch about the various stages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. Thereby, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
work will be
tightly
held as secret and no technological theft can happen.
For example
, space exploration is a daunting task and it even requires a huge amount of money to
be invested
.
Because of this
reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are unwilling to shed their financial reserves to explore the outer space.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
SpaceX has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
launching satellites and rovers from its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Launchpad. This practice has opened a vision of promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
enterprises in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
oriented work.

In conclusion
, as far as my views
are concerned
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
bodies is a beneficial phenomenon for which there are a number of significant advantages.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'liberalise' is British English.
liberalise
and incentivize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
who
are involved
with such practices, as they are better equipped to outweigh the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. If that happens, there will be a promising future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People in the community can buy cheaper product nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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