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Altered IELTS In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v.2

Altered IELTS In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 2
For generations in many countries young adults have been encouraged to take a gap year after high school. Below merits and drawbacks of the prospect will be discussed in details. On the one hand, there are several benefits of the tradition. Firstly, studying at high school and preparation for the final exams is challenging and difficult. In fact, many students are so exhausted that they may have a nervous breakdown. Many psychologists suggest having a journey as a proper medicine to the problem. Thus, those who decide to spend a year on travelling will surely get rested and revitalized by the new experience. Secondly, some young individuals do not have needed financial resources to pay for studying at university. One year gap gives them a possibility to earn and save up some money. In fact, a person who has been working intensively for twelve months in a row may make enough money to start tertiary education. Those are several benefits that are acquired via having a year gap. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages as well. For example, a person who became financially independent will probably detest the idea of giving it up for studying. Statistics shows that the majority of those who began working after school have never pursued a degree and a likely reason to this is that living on your own, being free from parents’ rules is an awesome experience. Secondly, having the long one-year vocation may have a negative impact on students’ academic records. For instance, young adults who did not take a gap year are more likely to graduate from university than those who took it. It seems that to study successfully a person should be able to recall a lot of information from a school program and the data is well-remembered by those who went from school to university directly and forgotten by those who had a long vacation. Those are a few negative facets of the custom. In conclusion, the custom of having a year vocation between school and university has some drawbacks and merits and each person has a right to decide what is better for him or her.
For generations in
many
countries young adults have
been encouraged
to take a gap
year
after high
school
. Below merits and drawbacks of the prospect will
be discussed
in
details
.

On the one hand, there are several benefits of the tradition.
Firstly
, studying at high
school
and preparation for the final exams is challenging and difficult. In fact,
many
students are
so
exhausted that they may have a nervous breakdown.
Many
psychologists suggest
having
a journey as a proper medicine to the problem.
Thus
, those
who
decide to spend a
year
on travelling will
surely
get
rested and revitalized by the new experience.
Secondly
,
some
young individuals do not have needed financial resources to pay for studying at
university
. One
year
gap gives them a possibility to earn and save up
some
money. In fact, a
person
who
has been working
intensively
for twelve months in a row may
make
enough
money to
start
tertiary education. Those are several benefits that
are acquired
via
having
a
year
gap.

On the other hand
, there are
some
disadvantages
as well
.
For example
, a
person
who
became
financially
independent will
probably
detest the
idea
of giving it up for studying. Statistics
shows
that the majority of those
who
began working after
school
have never pursued a degree and a likely reason to this is that living on your
own
, being free from parents’
rules
is an awesome experience.
Secondly
,
having
the long one-year vocation may have a
negative
impact on students’ academic records.
For instance
, young adults
who
did not take a gap
year
are more likely to graduate from
university
than those
who
took it. It seems that to study
successfully
a
person
should be able to recall
a lot of
information from a
school
program and the data is well-remembered by those
who
went from
school
to
university
directly
and forgotten by those
who
had a long vacation. Those are a few
negative
facets of the custom.

In conclusion
, the custom of
having
a
year
vocation between
school
and
university
has
some
drawbacks and merits and each
person
has a right to decide what is better for him or her.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Altered IELTS In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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