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All parents want the best opportunities for their children There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children s future v.1

All parents want the best opportunities for their children There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children s future v. 1
In this present time, every parent tries as much as possible to give the best chance for their children. Many people hold the view that learning range of subjects in education is the best way to assist children in the future. In contrast, some people support the opinion that schools ought to educate skills. According to my way of thinking, skills should be applied to education to support children' s future. This essay will discuss both views. On the one hand, today the world is really developed and modern, especially in education which has applied new technologies and methods to help students to grow up in the right way. Now schools from primary to university are implementing to teach skills which would give more opportunities for children' s future and I agree. The reason is that skills currently play an essential role in every corner of life, such as communication which is one of the most important abilities, when students are taught this skill they will able to talk to a stranger easily and build a new relationship immediately, besides that they can deal with troubles in daily life or office environment. Furthermore, teamwork skill is very valuable, which helps students to listen, connect and support each other in a team to solve intense issues in the study. As a result, they will be grown up in the right way, improve their self and have abilities to face with every situation in the real life. For instance, I have a friend who had taken a communication course since he was a student at college because he was an introverted person thus he could not find a job, after finishing the course he found a good job with high pay. On the other hand, most subjects are still necessary for students, which help them have a basic knowledge. Such as math subject that teaches students how to calculate with the number, history subject teaches them the history of a country and the culture of different regions. Therefore, students will know which subjects they like and choose the right one to assist their career in the future. In conclusion, both skills and subjects are necessary for students to support their occupation and life in the future but schools need to spend more time on teaching skills.
In this present time, every parent tries as much as possible to give the best chance for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the view that learning range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in education is the best way to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the opinion that schools ought to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. According to my way of thinking,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
should
be applied
to education to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. This essay will discuss both views.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the world is
really
developed and modern,
especially
in education which has applied new technologies and methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to grow up in the right way.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
schools from primary to university are implementing to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which would give more opportunities for
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. The reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
currently
play an essential role in every corner of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, such as communication which is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
abilities, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are taught
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
they
Did you mean "will be able"?
will able
to talk to a stranger
easily
and build a new relationship immediately,
besides
that they can deal with troubles in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or office environment.
Furthermore
, teamwork
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
valuable, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to listen, connect and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
each other in a team to solve intense issues in the study.
As a result
, they will
be grown
up in the right way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their self and have abilities to face with every situation in the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, I have a friend who had taken a communication course since he was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
at college
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he was an introverted person
thus
he could not find a job, after finishing the course he found a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job with high pay.

On the other hand
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
still
necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "basic knowledge".
a basic knowledge
. Such as math
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
that teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
how to calculate with the number, history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
teaches them the history of a country and the culture of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will know which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they like and choose the right one to assist their career in the future.

In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
their occupation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
schools need to spend more time on teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay All parents want the best opportunities for their children There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children s future v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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