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All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach their children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children’s future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.4

All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach their children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children’s future. v. 4
Parents always expect to have the best career for their pupils. Many people are saying school should focus more to enhance the traits of the students and other persons believe that for having the bright future of the child, it is crucial to have subjects in the curriculum. I strongly feel that, elementary school should work to brush up the skills of the students and in tertiary school subjects should be taught. On the one side, society claims educational institutes should take steps to develop the skills of the children, as their mind and body will grow only if they will be more indulged in the physical and mental activities rather than getting involved in books or papers. People believe children can do better in their upcoming period only if they will get support and knowledge in their schools, because in the working area, body language, the way of approaching, sense of humour matters a lot rather than literatures. Practical knowledge will work as it can provide great career and work opportunities, which will give ultimately secured future for them. On the other side, Subjects are pivotal and it can make the best lucrative base for the future of the students. Nobody can give 100% if they will not have the proper knowledge, everyone cannot have good skills and it is not compulsory students will get success if there are having unique traits. But if they will study all literature and subjects, they will surely get few opportunities, and to hold them in a good way they can use their skills. In conclusion, I reiterate, it will be better if in graded schools, teachers pay more attention to brush up the skills and in high school, they will be challenged with various subjects, consequently they will get bright future and will have options to select the field according to their taste and preferences, as a happy mind can perform better and learn too.
Parents always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to have the best career for their pupils.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are saying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should focus more to enhance the traits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and other persons believe that for having the bright
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
of the child, it is crucial to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in the curriculum. I
strongly
feel that, elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should work to brush up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and in tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be taught
.

On the one side, society claims educational institutes should take steps to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of the children, as their mind and body will grow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they will be more indulged in the physical and mental activities
rather
than getting involved in books or papers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believe children can do better in their upcoming period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
support and knowledge in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in the working area, body language, the way of approaching, sense of
Possible spelling mistake. 'humour' is British English.
humour
matters a lot
rather
than literatures. Practical knowledge will work as it can provide great career and work opportunities, which will give
ultimately
secured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
for them.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Subjects
are pivotal and it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best lucrative base for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Nobody can give 100% if they will not have the proper knowledge, everyone cannot have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and it is not compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success if there are having unique traits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if they will study all literature and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, they will
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
few opportunities, and to hold them in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, I reiterate, it will be better if in graded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, teachers pay more attention to brush up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they will
be challenged
with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
consequently
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bright
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
and will have options to select the field according to their taste and preferences, as a happy mind can perform better and learn too.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach their children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children’s future. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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