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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views. v.27

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. v. 27
When finishing school, many people argue that university or college is the best way to step onto the career ladder, whereas others believe joining the workforce is a better option. While there are benefits to seek employment immediately, there are also advantages to pursue higher education. The option of studying at university or college is attractive for several reasons. Firstly, a higher training provides students with specialized knowledge and advanced skill, which some jobs require such as doctors, teachers and lawyers. For example, in Vietnam, if you want to be a doctor, you must have The University Certificate, or even Master's degree. Secondly, graduate students usually get better jobs with higher salaries as well as have more chances to promote in their careers, compared to those who without university education. Moreover, the job market is more and more competitive, so the applicants should have degrees in order to have advantages in job application. On the other hand, it is also understandable that getting a job right after school could lead to a successful career. By working hard, people could gain a lot of real experience and skills in their jobs. This can help them progress rapidly in their careers. Furthermore, young people may earn money and save money to pay for their personal activities and even will be able to afford housing. Therefore, they can have an independent life as soon as they want. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments for starting work right after high school, but higher education can also lead to a successful career.
When finishing school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college is the best way to step onto the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
ladder, whereas others believe joining the workforce is a better option. While there are benefits to seek employment immediately, there are
also
advantages to pursue higher education.

The option of studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college is attractive for several reasons.
Firstly
, a higher training provides students with specialized knowledge and advanced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require such as doctors, teachers and lawyers.
For example
, in Vietnam, if you want to be a doctor, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
Certificate, or even Master's degree.
Secondly
, graduate students
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with higher salaries
as well
as have more chances to promote in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
, compared to those who without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market is more and more competitive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the applicants should have degrees in order to have advantages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
application.

On the other hand
, it is
also
understandable that getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
right after school could lead to a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. By working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
real experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them progress
rapidly
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
.
Furthermore
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may earn money and save money to pay for their personal activities and even will be able to afford housing.
Therefore
, they can have an independent life as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they want.

In conclusion
, there are convincing arguments for starting work right after high school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
higher education can
also
lead to a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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